A Little Child Will Lead Them
by resourceful
Summary: The Stetson-King family members are irrevocably torn asunder until a small miracle offers them a way back to each other, if they are willing to take it.
1. Chapter 1

**A Little Child Will Lead Them**

**Author:** Resourceful

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **Scarecrow and Mrs. King is the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot-the-Moon Productions. I make no money from the story and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Credits: **Short quotations from: Remembrances of Things Past, We're Off to See the Wizard, Unfinished Business, Rumors of My Death, Santa's Got a Brand New Bag, Matter of Choice,

**Timeframe:** Post Season Four: September 1991 - with flashbacks to September 1987

**Summary:** The Stetson-King family members are irrevocably torn asunder until a small miracle offers them a way back to each other, if they are willing to take it.

**Authors Notes: **Thanks to the talented Vikki who guided me through the writing process in 2004. The story was originally posted on another site.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**September 22, 1991 - Outer Banks of North Carolina**

Labor Day was a distant memory and so was the crowd of tourists who'd reveled in summer's last hurrah. In one mass exodus, the vacationers had left the seashore mecca and reluctantly returned to the daily grind of school and work.

Now a state of calm welcomed the most recent visitors to the barrier islands, gifting them with stunning azure skies, puffy white cloulds, and the sparkling emerald ocean. Sea oats grass waved in greeting from the high dunes, and pristine sand spread like plush carpet along the shoreline, tempting bare toes to delight in its soft texture.

A hint of autumn chilled the air, and unseasonably cool breezes rippled across the surf and sand of North Carolina's Outer Banks. At high noon, most folks left the water's edge and headed indoors for lunch. The tranquil beach was nearly deserted, save for a small boy, a few walkers, and a lone sunbather relaxing lazily on a blanket.

Despite the absence of sun worshippers, boogie boarders, and shell seekers, the little boy was content with his inventive play. The towheaded tyke crouched low in the sand as he inched toward a large, gray-feathered bird. Very carefully, the child stretched out his sticky fingers in hopes of touching the wings of the white-breasted seagull.

With his small left hand, he offered a chunk of bread, trying to tempt the elusive bird to come nearer. Keeping an eye on the squawking flock overhead, he maneuvered forward in his childlike version of a duck waddle. Closer and closer, the boy moved, until he felt the prey snatch the proffered bread from his hand. Instantly, he found himself surrounded by the descending beggars of the beach, the would-be benefactors of another tourist feeding.

Soon the child tired of the dizzy dance with the seagulls. Popping the last of his peanut-butter sandwich into his mouth, the boy grabbed a bright red bucket. Then he began his careful selection of stones and shells that lay unceremoniously dumped on the water's edge by the incoming tide.

With the onslaught of the surf swirling over his bare feet, he switched his attention to the wet sand squishing between his toes. Dumping out his bounty, the imaginative boy turned his versatile bucket into a soldier's helmet. He marched with precision in goosestep style, halting his parade long enough to study the footprints he made in the sand.

"Bil-ly." The mature female voice strained to be heard over the pounding surf. Maude Mayfield leaned over the deck railing and firmly addressed her charge. "If you can't stay away from the water, you'll have to come up here with me."

"Okay." The disappointed child obediently moved away from the shoreline and searched for new attractions on the beach. The bucket was quickly abandoned as the youngster spied sandpipers making fast tracks toward the lone sunbather. Stopping only long enough to jump over the slimy mass of a large jelly fish, Billy followed the birds' imprints to the blanket of a snoozing man. Gazing at the long form of the stranger, the child pondered the wisdom of disturbing, what looked to be, a sleeping giant.

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><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

Matt Hamilton lay prone on the blanket, resting his head on one long arm. By all appearances, he was down for the count. However, his fine-tuned senses were totally aware of the encroaching visitor. With eyes shaded by sunglasses, he watched as the kid crept closer. Then with a quick hand, the miniature intruder masterfully snatched the binoculars, resting on his blanket.

Biting back a protest, Matt waited to see what would happen next.

The little boy ran a sandy finger over the black surface of the field glasses. Nervously, the child inspected the treasure and then cautiously returned the binoculars to the proper resting place. Stepping away by a few yards, he sat down and began to pile sand over his legs and feet.

Great, now what? Was the kid waiting for him to wake up? Maybe if he went back to sleep, the little prowler would give up and go away.

Lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm of the waves, Matt dozed intermittently. It was so hard to just let everything go and relax with the sounds of nature. As part of security for the Outer Banks beach communities, he'd been pushed to the limit by the hectic summer season.

Six days a week, from Duck to Kill Devil Hills to Kitty Hawk to Nags' Head, he dealt with whatever the barrier islands threw in his path. If it wasn't a drowning, or a shark sighting, it was illegal fireworks, drunken college students, or even an occasional drug bust. While not exactly the danger, excitement, and intrigue of international terrorism or warring super powers, the job kept him busy and exorcised the demons from his past.

Feeling the tug of consciousness, Matt rolled his long frame over and ran a hand across the two-day growth of stubble on his chin. Opening his eyes to the glare of the sun, he was startled to see the still figure of the child staring down at him. Obviously, he hadn't gone away.

"Hi, mister." The sweet childish voice was barely audible above the noise of the surf.

"Hi, yourself," Matt muttered, wondering why the child was once again invading his solitary space.

"My name's Billy." Shyly, the boy took a step closer and pointed at the binoculars. "Are those yours?"

"Ah, yeah." Matt hesitated before resigning himself to unwanted company. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. Smiling at the hopeful face, he held out the coveted prize. "Would you like to hold them?"

Billy brightened immediately. Reaching for the offering, he pulled the strap over his head and peered through the wrong end.

"Here, kid, let me show you." The reluctant playmate sat up and reached out a big hand to reclaim his binoculars. Before he could get his fingers around them, the little boy lunged forward. Then, with sandy feet and a damp bathing suit, he landed squarely on Matt's lap.

"Hey." Valiantly, the astonished sunbather swallowed the expletives that normally flowed from his lips. Grabbing the child's thin frame, he stood up and placed the inquisitive nuisance in the sand. Silently reminding himself to be patient, Matt felt his annoyance subside as he knelt behind the little boy and guided the binoculars into position on the small face.

"Wow," the child squealed in delight. Scanning the sights along the beach, Billy leaned back against Matt's bare chest and placed his fingers on the long legs that flanked his small body.

Warming up to his tiny companion, Matt entertained his guest with the wonders of nature. Soon they were playing "I spy", focusing on the fishing pier, a school of dolphins, and even a ship far out at sea.

"Bil-ly." The beckoning neighbor interrupted their game. Maude Mayfield waved an arm as she made the trek from the "Ocean Watch Retreat" beachfront house. Widowed for eight years, the determined proprietor had practically run the place solo, long after most people her age would have retired.

"What am I going to do with you, child? You shouldn't bother Mr. Hamilton." Maude smiled as she slowly moved toward the duo. "William Lee, you need to apologize."

Matt's head snapped up at the child's familiar name, but he quickly shook off the reminder from his past and rose to greet his neighbor. "Hi, Maude, I take it you know this guy."

Billy ducked behind his buddy's long legs and belted out an apology for the caregiver. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Matt," Maude added. "I should keep a tighter rein on the boy. I know you need your privacy after a long hard summer."

"He's fine, Maude." Prying the sticky hands from his leg, Matt eased Billy to his side and braced the child against his muscular thigh. Cupping the little blond head with his large hand, he rubbed the short-cropped golden hair that seemed to stick out in all directions.

"So, Matthew, how was your summer on the Outer Banks? You obviously survived the dangerous duty of babysitting the summer tourists. Will you be hunkering down for a second desolate winter in the Harrington Seaside Cottage?"

"Yeah, I rented it again. Someone has to stay on and provide security for all the prime beach properties during the winter. It certainly beats my cramped, summer apartment."

"Pretty lonely lifestyle, Matt. Most of us will abandon you in a few weeks. I'm heading back to Charlotte to stay with my son's family for the winter. You should return to family or friends, too."

"Hey, what can I say? I'm a loner, and loners like to be alone." He looked away to hide the sadness that tugged at his features. Faint images of beloved faces paraded through his thoughts. With a sigh, he turned back just in time to catch the worry in Maude's eyes.

She offered a weak smile and reached for the hand of her little charge. "William, say thank you to Mr. Hamilton."

The child looked up, happiness plainly etched on his face. "Thanks, mister. I sure like playing with you."

"You're welcome, Billy. Come again, okay?" Matt patted the child's sandy back and smiled at the dimpled grin on the boy's face. Turning toward Maude, he asked the obvious question. "So, is this your grandson?"

"No, but I wish he was mine. He's a great little boy, even when he's running me ragged." She smiled at Billy, before continuing. "I'm watching him for a friend. There was a death in the family, so his mother had to travel to Washington, D.C."

"Daddy Joe passed out," Billy piped up as he hopped on one foot.

"That's passed on, dear," Maude corrected.

Matt felt a familiar pain rip through his torso. "Billy's father died?" he asked in a whisper. "The poor little guy . . . ."

Maude shook her head and kept her voice low. "Well, not his real father, but he's gone, too. It's a long, complicated story." Watching Billy fidgeting beside her, Maude changed the subject. "Matt, why don't you come to dinner tonight. All my guests and summer help are gone, so it will be just the three of us. Is six-thirty, okay?"

"Thanks, I'd like that, Maude." Matt smiled and called out to Billy. "See you later, pal."

"Bye, mister."

Matt shook his head and chuckled when the boy stumbled backward, trying to wave and walk at the same time. "Poor Billy," he mumbled to himself. "The kid's all arms and legs, just like I was at that age."

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><p>To Be Continued:<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**September 22, 1991 - Evening - Ocean Watch Retreat**

Matt swallowed the last bite of apple pie and, with a sigh of contentment, pushed himself back from the table. "Well, you did yourself proud, Maude. That was the best home-cooked meal I've had in months."

"Humph, save your compliments, Matthew. I bet this is the only home-cooked meal you've had in a year." Maude peered over the rim of her eyeglasses at the moderately expanding waistline of her neighbor. "I would venture to guess you've been eating in too many fast food restaurants and greasy spoon eateries."

"And you'd probably be right." Matt let out a hearty laugh and winked at Billy, who held his sleepy head up with one hand while he played with his nearly untouched dinner with the other.

"I'm finished." Billy blinked his hazel eyes and flashed his best dimpled grin at their hostess.

"Goodness, gracious, child," Maude answered. "You're so skinny, you look like a scarecrow. Your mother won't be happy if she thinks I'm not feeding you."

"I miss Mommy." The youngster's lower lip quivered as he slid from his chair. "Can we call her, Aunt Maude?"

"You talked to her this afternoon, dear. She'll call you tomorrow." Maude patted Billy's hand. "Now, it's time for bed, and I don't want any fuss."

"But, I'm not tired, honest." The boy stifled a yawn and squirmed away from Maude.

Matt silently watched Billy for a moment, before reaching out an arm to gather up the child. Situating him on his lap, he gazed at the boy's attentive face and made him a bedtime offer. "Hey, pal, if you want to pick out a bedtime story, I'll be happy to read it to you, okay?"

Billy nodded his head in agreement, but opted instead to attach his arms to the broad chest and snuggle against the powerful frame. For a long moment the child's body melted into the embrace of the surprised guest.

Matt caught Maude's questioning stare, as she silently observed the two of them. Something in her puzzled look sent chills down his spine. A flash of foreboding made him quickly look away from her penetrating eyes. Setting the child on his feet, Matt grabbed his plate. "Here, let me help with the dishes."

"If you really want to help, dear, you could take that rascal upstairs and give him a bath."

"A bath? You have to be kidding. I don't know anything about giving kids a bath."

"Don't give me that tale of woe. No one gets to be forty-two years old without learning how to give pets and people baths. I can well imagine you've had lots of experience on someone or another. Besides, Billy will explain it to you, won't you child? After a round with him, I promise you'll be baptized into the art of bathing children."

Billy tugged on his hand. "Let's go," he pleaded. "Baths are fun."

Running a hand through his hair, Matt trudged up the stairs behind the exuberant Billy. "Whoever heard of kids liking baths?" he grumbled. By the time he made it to the bathroom, the water was already running. Somehow, the boy had gotten things started and then disappeared from sight.

Matt knelt beside the bathtub, swishing the water with his hand to make sure the temperature wasn't too hot for the soon-to-be occupant. "How did I let Maude con me into bathing a kid?"

Billy appeared at the bathroom door, his arms loaded with an assortment of toys. "I'm ready," the still fully clothed child announced as his bathing buddies hit the floor with a loud clatter.

"Whoa, whoa, just hold it right there." Matt reached for a strange looking green figure and held it up. "Just what is this, and what are you planning to do with it?"

"That's a 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle'," Billy announced with pride. "The Ninjas always take a bath with me."

"And this would be?" Matt held up a red suited action figure.

"A Power Ranger. Don't you know that?"

"And this?" Matt asked, as he held up a brown plastic tub with three little people.

The boy's eyes widened in disbelief. "That's 'Rub, a dub, dub, three men in a tub'. Don't you know the rhyme?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Billy, look at this mess. You also have two sailboats, a submarine, swim goggles, and a rubber duck. Surely, your mother doesn't let you put all this junk in the tub."

"Un huh! Mommy always lets me." The child's face faded into a pout.

"Okay, okay, let's just get this done." Matt situated Billy in front of him and attempted to pull the boy's shirt over his head. His efforts were immediately met with a cry of protest.

"Ouch, Ouch, Ouch," the child screeched as the neck of the shirt latched onto his ears.

Quickly retreating, Matt braced his back against the tub. "All right, kid, let's see you do it."

Wiggling the shirt over his head, Billy next yanked his shorts and Superman underpants down his legs and stepped out of them, tripping himself in the process. Just in time, Matt caught the child and lifted him into the tub.

"See my 'comparance'," Billy chirped with pride. His small hand reached behind him to point to the lily white color of his round, dimpled bottom.

"Your what?"

"Comparance." Billy looked at Matt like he was from another planet. "Don't you know nothing? See!" He tried again, pointing to the tan skin on his arm. "The sun kissed me here, but not there."

"Oh, yes, 'comparance', of course. Very nice!" Matt grinned at the childish explanation. The kid was creative; he'd give him that. "Now sit down, Billy, before you slip in the tub."

Shaking his head in defiance, the child stubbornly pointed to his toys. "I want my friends."

"Aaaah!" In desperation, Matt raised both hands in the air, before bending over the pile of toys and, one by one, tossing them into the tub. Next, he settled Billy into a sitting position and reached for the bar of soap and wash cloth. "Now, this shouldn't be too hard," he proclaimed. Grabbing the boy's left arm, he started to lather him up.

"No,ooo," Billy cried in protest, sliding away from Matt's grasp.

After two more failed attempts to wash the whirling cyclone, Matt decided to take a break. Bathing the boy was like trying to catch a greased pig. With a sigh, he took a seat on the closed toilet lid, concluding he should just let Billy soak awhile in his water world of make believe.

"Be sure to wash his hair." The muted voice of Maude floated up from the bottom of the stairs.

"Wash his hair," Matt hissed. "When did I sign on for combat duty?" Pulling himself up from the commode, he opened the vanity door, looking for shampoo. By the time he located a tube of green gel, the battle of the Ninjas and the Power Rangers escalated into major warfare, and water splashed all over the bathroom.

"Billy, Billy, stop it." Matt cringed at the harsh tone of his own voice. Lowering the volume, he settled himself on the wet bathmat. "Okay, pal, I need to pull the toys out of there and get this bath over with."

"No,ooo," Billy bellowed, just before his mighty belly flop sent water splashing everywhere.

"Great, just great; now I'm soaked, too." Repositioning the wailing child with one hand, Matt lathered the little body up and dunked the boy under the water for a good rinse.

Spiting and sputtering, Billy came up for air, madder than a swarm of angry bees. "Let go,ooo. Let me go," the boy howled with all the gusto he could muster. Kicking and splashing, he tried to break the firm grip Matt had on his armpit and didn't see the second attack coming.

Squirting the shampoo over the boy's head, Matt proceeded to rub the gel through the sandy, sticky hair, while he fought to keep his charge in place. Just as he had the golden locks completely covered, all hell broke loose.

Suddenly Billy arched his back and broke Matt's hold. With arms and legs thrashing, he cut loose with a blood curdling scream. Then two little fists frantically rubbed at inflamed eyes.

The damage done, the shampoo man gave the screeching child one more dunk and grabbed for the nearest towel, inadvertently dropping it in the bath water. "Oh, God, Billy, I'm sorry." He reached to help the traumatized child wipe away the offending suds.

"Ever heard of the 'no more tears' shampoo?" Maude held up the bottle of children's shampoo she'd picked up from the rack above the tub. Handing over a dry towel for Billy, she shook her head at the bathroom disaster before turning to leave.

"Maude, please don't abandon me now," a desperate Matt pleaded as he lifted the whimpering Billy from the tub and proceeded to dry him off.

Maude saluted and turned to leave. "Carry on, men."

Fortunately, the battle of Armageddon left no lasting scars. The bathtub calamity was quickly forgotten by the child, once Matt helped into his pajamas and settled him down for a bedtime story. Billy snuggled close as the two shared the adventures of "Curious George." It wasn't long before the youngster's head sagged against his chest.

Quietly rising from the bed, Matt carefully positioned Billy's sleepy form under the covers. "He's just too cute for his own good," he murmured as he watched the child clutch his stuffed "Eeyore" and stroke a well-worn, faded blanket.

Nearly asleep, Billy's thumb found its way into his mouth, and he sucked vigorously until finally his little body relaxed into peaceful slumber.

Satisfied that Billy was settled in for the night, Matt kissed the boy's forehead and carefully tiptoed from the room. Closing the door quietly, he marveled at the flood of childhood memories that surfaced in just one evening with a small child. All the lost bedtime rituals played out by his parents, night in and night out, had just been recreated with little thought and no planning on his part.

Matt descended the stairs to find Maude waiting for him with a tray of coffee and some left over pie. Ignoring the temptation of a second dessert, he grabbed a mug of the steaming brew and settled his still damp body into the leather recliner. "Billy was out like a light before we finished the first chapter of Curious George. I guess his bath wore us both out."

Maude eyed him carefully. "You're good with children."

"Oh, right. You mean, I'm good at scaring the living delights out of them. I think I gave my first and last bath."

"No, really, Matt. Didn't you notice how quickly Billy took to you? He's usually quite timid around men, particularly strangers. You must be hiding a whole pack of kids somewhere."

"No, Maude, I never had kids of my own." Matt looked away, trying to fight down the urge to run before the conversation became more personal.

The inquisitive woman gave no indication of letting the subject drop. "Well, you must have brothers and sisters. You definitely know how to make a lonely, little boy happy."

"Humph." Matt nervously tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair. "Maybe I was comfortable with Billy because, once upon a time, I was a lonely, little boy. Look, my past is pretty much a closed book. Let's just say it was painful."

Maude took a sip of coffee before pressing on with her thoughts. "Matthew, you certainly are a difficult person to get to know. Sometimes I think you harbor more secrets than a spy."

He inwardly cringed at her remark. "You won't give it a rest, will you?" Sighing heavily, Matt ran a hand through his hair, debating how much of his life to share. "Maude, you probably noticed the wedding ring I'm wearing.

"Yes, I did."

"Unfortunately, the time spent with my wife was all too brief," he said, his voice tinged with emotion.

Maude's face was etched with sympathy. "Did she die?"

"No, she's alive." Anxiously twirling his wedding band, he decided to reveal a little more information. "During that short chapter of my life, I was a stepfather to two great kids. However, my wife and I weren't together long enough to have more children." Matt stopped abruptly and stared at the ceiling, his mind overwhelmed by the unspeakable memories of his past.

She eyed him cautiously. "Did you come to the Outer Banks to get away from your past sorrow and start a new life?"

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders, but refused to elaborate.

Maude studied him for a beat. "I wondered if you realize you're the topic of island gossip."

"I figured as much."

"Some people have called you the man of mystery. They suspect you have another identity."

Matt opened his mouth to protest, but Maude ignored him.

"Suddenly a big, strapping, smart, educated man appeared out of nowhere to do security work in our small beach community. It didn't take long before people noticed the best law enforcement officer ever to set foot around here. Despite being an outsider, your very presence commanded immediate respect.

Matt cleared his throat and readjusted his chair to the upright position. He felt ready to beat a hasty retreat, if the conversation spiraled out of control.

His hostess granted him no mercy as she rushed on with more island rumors. "Some people assumed you did time in prison or maybe you were a prisoner-of-war."

Matt felt his neutral facade begin to crumble. "The islanders can think what they want," he said, "but that doesn't make any of their speculation true."

"Of course not. However, you keep to yourself and ignore all the flirtations from the ladies. The locals naturally wonder about your past. Despite the secrets, folks are in awe of you. Everyone likes you, but nobody knows you. So the rumors and the gossip run rampant."

"That's enough." He felt a flash of anger rip through his frame. "I don't give a damn. . . ."

Maude had the grace to look repentant. "I'm sorry, Matthew. I didn't mean to make this evening difficult for you."

"Humph! That's exactly what happened. Can't you leave it alone?"

"Yes, of course, dear. I promise not to say anymore, unless you bring it up." Maude smiled faintly and sat back, waiting for him to make the next move.

Matt nodded absently, before changing the subject. "So, tell me about Billy. Shouldn't he be in school?"

His hostess immediately warmed to the topic. "Everyone asks the same question. Actually, Billy's too young for grade school. He happens to be very tall for his age and as smart as a whip. I'm sure the child did most of the reading tonight when you read him his bedtime story."

"Yeah, he did. He's gotta be, what . . . five years old?"

Maude laughed. "His mother would appreciate your assessment of the boy. Actually Billy is only three and a half years old."

Shaking his head in amazement, Matt once again reclined his chair. "What can you tell me about Billy's family?"

Maude hesitated before responding. "Actually, you aren't the only one with a secret past. Billy's life is shrouded in mystery, too. I'm only allowed to repeat what his mother tells the nosy locals when she's here."

Matt eyed her warily, but nodded for her to continue.

"Billy lives in Durham, North Carolina with his mother. She brings him to the Outer Banks during July, along with her two teenagers from a previous marriage. The older children have been living with their father, but they spend most of their time in boarding school."

He felt a growing uneasiness about pursuing the present line of questioning. Every instinct signaled for him to stay out of Billy's business. Just the same, he heard himself continue to interrogate his neighbor. "And what do you know about the men in Billy's life - his real father and the one called Daddy Joe?"

Maude opened her mouth to speak, but stopped abruptly when a soft noise came from the hall. Getting up, she confronted the intruder peering around the doorway. "William Lee, what are you doing out of bed, young man?"

"I'm thirsty, Aunt Maude."

"Okay, let's get you a drink, and then it's right back to bed with you." Maude returned with Billy in tow. "Sorry, Matt. Just give me a few minutes to get this monkey a glass of water and settle him down."

"Hi, Mister Hami-on". Billy waved his free hand at his grinning friend.

"Hi, yourself, pal. Why don't you just call me Matt?"

Billy nodded with enthusiasm, before flashing his own wide dimpled grin.

"Do you want a another cup of coffee, Matthew?"

Grateful for the window of opportunity to escape the disconcerting conversation, he pushed himself from the chair. "Ah, that's okay. I should to be leaving anyway. I have an early appointment in the morning. Passing by the duo, he tousled Billy's hair. "Thanks again for dinner, Maude. I'll just let myself out."

* * *

><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

Matt sat alone on the deck's chaise lounge, staring morosely into the dark night. The earlier spectacular, starry sky was now hidden by the gathering cloud cover. Starring into nothingness, he listened to the pounding waves as they slammed against the shoreline.

In his left hand, he nursed a tumbler of Scotch and occasionally downed a gulp of the burning liquid. With each swallow, he tried to extinguish the embers of a lost life that still smoldered in his consciousness. Somehow, the simple casual dinner invitation had turned into an unwanted reminder of his past. To his consternation, he'd let his defenses down long enough for Maude to dredge up old wounds that he usually held at bay by his iron-clad will.

Thoughts of family, children, baths, and bedtime stories all conspired to bring him agonizing emotional pain. Flashes of beloved faces rushed at him with a force that took his breath away: his parents, his wife, his stepsons, his mother-in-law. They all embraced him in a rush of love and laughter, only to quickly pass from view, leaving him with a terrible emptiness.

As each white cap hit the beach and swirled over the wide expanse of sand, he remembered long ago conversations. Echoing words surged to consciousness and quickly faded away.

"Daddy's home, Daddy's home. Come give your tired, old Dad a hug."

"Surprise, Lee, I baked the chocolate chip cookies you love."

"I don't care, that you don't care, that I care."

"You think you're some kind of superman, but you're really just a man - but a very special man."

"I'm glad you could come, Mr. Stetson. You should see the neat skateboard my Grandma got me."

"Hey, nice car. You know, for the ladies. How about popping the hood."

"Lee, are you familiar with the fourth dimension theory in laundry?"

Matt gave his head a hard shake, trying to blot out the sweet memories of a life, no longer available. He hated, like hell, that Maude could disturb his carefully guarded secret past. It was the very reason he didn't allow himself to get close to any of the islanders.

As angry as he felt at Maude's intrusion, he couldn't help but smile at the image of Billy and his endearing antics. He was a captivating little guy. Somehow, it seemed so natural to be with him.

Matt swallowed the lump in his throat and fought back the ever-present bane of loneliness. He hoped Billy didn't have to grow up without a father. It was inconceivable that the little guy had a father and a "Daddy Joe," and neither one was available to him.

He could certainly feel a kinship with the child. Maybe hearing Maude call him William Lee conjured up too many memories of his own life. Whatever the boy's mysterious past turned out to be, Matt had an uncomfortable feeling that he'd better leave it alone.

Confounded by feelings of regret, he slowly exhaled a harsh breath. He'd loved to have known Phillip and Jamie when they were little guys, like Billy.

Rising stiffly from his seat, Matt poured his unfinished drink into the sand and set the glass on the railing with a dull thud. Absently, he began to pace the short deck as he remembered the countless times he watched over Amanda's boys from the kitchen window.

He'd been an unseen presence for years, until, by the amazing gift of his wife, he'd been permitted to live among them and participate in their daily lives.

Stepping off the deck, Matt decided to stretch his legs. Each pounding step brought back clear memories of the last morning he awoke to the voices of his stepsons.

* * *

><p><strong>****Flashback **** September 22, 1987 - 6:00 a.m. Stetson-King household<strong>

The persistent pounding of a rhythmic beat invaded the pleasant dream of Lee Stetson, nudging him to premature wakefulness. Rolling away from the warmth of his wife's sleeping form, he tilted his head to try to make out the annoying sound.

Recognition dawned when a bedroom door opened down the hall, allowing the musical strains of the "Grateful Dead" to filter through the entire upstairs. Phillip had the bass turned up on his stereo, again. He'd been warned about that on numerous occasions.

Feeling Amanda stir beside him, Lee reached to pull her closer, quickly blotting out the irritating noise from the boys' bedroom. With his body alerting him to a much better wake-up call, he was determined to enforce his cardinal rule for starting a new day. "Good morning, Mrs. Stetson," he whispered against the smooth contour of her shoulder.

"Ummm, morning, sweetheart." Amanda snuggled closer and wrapped her husband in a tight embrace.

Nuzzling his face into the soft hollow of her neck, Lee was caught off guard when one short knock on the their bedroom door announced the immediate entrance of his two stepsons.

"Lee," Amanda said, between clinched teeth. "You forgot to lock the door, again." Pushing away from her husband, the flustered mother of two curious teens nervously greeted her sons. "Good morning, fellas."

"Ah, sorry, Mom, Lee." Jamie's colorful red cheeks were a testimony to his embarrassment.

"You two really need to lock the door," Phillip chastised. "How are we suppose to know what you're doing in here?"

"Ah, boys is there something you need?" Lee coughed as he tried to distract everyone from the uncomfortable moment.

"Well, did you ask her or not?" Phillip crossed his arms in front him, letting his stepfather know, in no uncertain terms, that disappointment was not an option.

Lee shook his head slightly, warning the boys to back off. "Not now, guys."

"Ask me what?" Amanda shot her husband a questioning look.

"Awe jeez, Lee, you promised." Jamie's face fell when he realized their plans hadn't been cleared.

"Promised what?" An indignant Amanda glared first at Lee and then at the boys.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it, everyone. Can we just sit down and talk about this?" Lee pushed himself into a sitting position, as he attempted to make room for Phillip and Jamie.

Not needing a second invitation, the boys immediately pounced with perfect synchronized precision onto the foot of the bed. The sudden jolt of 225 pounds of teenage flesh and bone sent the slates of the antique, four poster into a spasm of creaks and groans. While everyone held a collective breath, the overwhelming weight of four adult-size bodies finally took its toll. With no other warning than a loud crack, the supportive slates gave way, dumping the bottom half of the bed, along with the screaming teens, to the floor beneath.

"Oh my gosh," Amanda said with a moan. Grabbing the headboard for security, she exchanged amused glances with Lee as he scrambled to pull the howling boys out from the padded pit.

Surprise was quickly replaced by laughter, when Dotty appeared in the doorway and let out a shriek. "A-man-da, Le-ee, what have you been doing?"

Too late to grab a robe, Lee turned to face the unflappable Dotty, who glared accusingly at the reluctant male model of Hanes' finest blue boxer shorts. To his utter chagrin, he felt a warm flush of embarrassment color his neck and cheeks.

Determined to take control of the moment, Lee barked out orders while pointing toward the door. "Okay, that's it. Everyone out, right now! Boys, we will talk about the other matter at breakfast."

Dotty herded her grandsons into the hallway, but couldn't resist a parting comment. "Blue is definitely your color, Lee."

******End of Flashback******

* * *

><p>To Be Continued<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**September 23, 1991 - Next morning on the Outer Banks**

The silver Jeep Cherokee pulled into the driveway, just as the small boy jumped off the neighboring deck and fired his toy pistol at the sand dunes.

Rolling down the car window, Matt smiled and called to the child. "Hi, partner."

Billy holstered his weapon and made a beeline for his new best friend. Tugging at the red bandana around his neck, the boy looked up with awe at the towering figure that emerged from the vehicle. "Hi, Matt," he said, his voice bubbling with enthusiasm. Jumping up and down in his miniature western attire, the child looked like he'd just stepped out of a cattle drive.

"Well, well, well, look at you; Billy the Kid is all decked out as a cowboy." He shook his head in disbelief. The boy's attire certainly brought back memories of his own childhood. Kneeling down, Matt pointed to the holster strapped to Billy's leg. "What 'cha got there, partner?"

"That's my Tomb. . . ssone fanner. Mommy lets me play with it, but I can't point it at anyone. Mommy doesn't like guns."

"May I see it?" Matt took the toy and studied it with a critical eye. Holding the metal object in his large palm, he noted that it was identical to the gun he toted around as a kid. Passing the barrel under his nose, he breathed in the aroma of the cap shooter. "There's nothing like the smell of caps in the morning."

"It was my Daddy's gun when he was a little boy. So are the boots. Mommy says they're Roy boots."

Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You mean Roy Rogers boots. I had a pair, too." Shaking off the remarkable similarity, he turned his attention to the rest of Billy's outfit.

"Was that your daddy's hat?"

"Oh, no. My brothers gave it to me for my birthday. It's a Stesson, see." Billy pointed to the label.

Taking the hat, Matt studied the brand name. "Ah, you mean a Stetson. Very nice."

Turning around and bending his backside toward Matt, Billy showed off the label on his famous make "Lee" blue jeans. "My brothers gave me the pants, too. They call me the Lee Stesson cowboy."

Matt reeled back as if he'd been hit with a bullet from an original Tombstone Fanner. He was rendered speechless by the incredible number of parallels Billy shared with his own life. Making a note to add this exchange to his growing list of coincidences, he grabbed the little boy's hand. "What do you say we go see Aunt Maude, okay, pal?"

"No,ooo." Pulling his small hand out of Matt's larger one, the kid refused to budge.

"Why not, Billy?" Matt couldn't help but wonder which of the child's parents passed on the gene for stubbornness.

"I want to play 'ride um, cowboy'." The little boy's lower lip protruded outward in a perfect pout. "My brothers always play 'ride um, cowboy' with me."

Billy's pleading eyes hit the bull's eye of Matt's heart. "You win, partner."

"You gotta be the horse. I'm the cowboy."

"Okay, okay." Bending down, with his back toward the boy, Matt chastised himself for being such a pushover. Feeling the little body climb on and grip him tightly with arms and legs, he was amazed that it felt so strangely right. "Hang on, kid; here we go."

"Giddy-up, giddy-up, horse." Billy waved his Stetson hat above his head as they made their way through the sand to the Ocean Watch Retreat.

Maude observed them from the doorway and greeted horse and rider with a knowing smile. "You two must be cut from the same cloth," she said cryptically as she ushered them into the kitchen.

Matt opened his mouth to ask her what she meant by the remark, but then thought better of it. "Nice day," he said in passing. "A storm is predicted for later."

"It should be a real soaker," Maude added, as she set out a glass of milk and two cups of coffee. "How about a snack?"

Still clinging to Matt's back, Billy already had his hand in the cookie jar. Beaming, he handed off three Chocolate Chip cookies to his surrogate aunt. Taking the child, she made him wash his hands before steering everyone to the kitchen table.

Billy could hardly contain his delight as he guzzled down his milk and devoured his cookie. "More, please."

"Oh, no, Mr. Cookie Monster, it's time for you to watch your friends on Sesame Street." Shooing the child toward the living room, she cleaned up his crumbs. Then taking a chair opposite Matt, she observed him silently. "So, Matthew, do you want to continue to talk about the weather, or is there something else on your mind?"

"Ah, well, I'd like to pick up where we left off last night. You started to tell me about Billy's family and his Daddy Joe." Matt cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the kitchen table, careful to keep his gaze away from the Mayfield probing eyes.

Maude took a sip of coffee and set the cup carefully back in the saucer. "Well, there really isn't a lot to tell. Daddy Joe is the father of Billy's half brothers. He was never really close to Billy. In fact, they rarely saw each other. He lived in the Washington D.C. area and practiced law. I guess it was hard for the little guy to hear the older boys talk about their dad, so he started referring to him as Daddy Joe."

"Billy talked about his real father this morning. It's too bad he's not around." Matt casually traced his finger along a crack in the Formica tabletop. Despite an outward look of indifference, his heart was racing as he clung to every word.

Maude shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, it's sad. I was led to believe he may be dead. No one really seems to know for sure. I think he disappeared from Ann's life before Billy was born, and he hasn't been heard from since."

"Ann?" Schooling his features into a puzzled frown, Matt carefully cataloged the latest information. "Hmmm, I assume Ann must be Billy's mother."

"Yes, Ann. Her name is Ann West."

"West?" Matt choked on his coffee. My God, the coincidences kept on coming. His wife's maiden name was West. "So, Billy's name is William Lee West, not just William Lee?"

"That's correct." Maude gave him a dubious look, but continued talking. "Ann rarely mentions her husband, but the older boys told me he was lost in service to our country. They implied he was in the military or some form of government service. Both of them seemed very proud of him. However, I didn't pry, because the boys are usually very tight-lipped."

"Billy seemed very fond of his brothers." Matt absently stirred his black coffee with a spoon, trying not to appear over eager. "What did you say the older boys' names are?" His face was expressionless, but his nervous hands belied his feigned indifference.

Maude didn't miss a trick. Raising her eyebrows in question, she took her time answering. "Well, Ann calls the boys Pete and Jay, but I've heard them occasionally address each other by different names."

"Yeah, I guess kids often pin insulting nicknames on each other." Hiding his emotions behind a stellar theatrical performance, Matt held his breath.

"They're more than just nicknames," she said with a nervous laugh. "When they aren't throwing out the insults, like geek or dork face, I've heard them refer to each other as Phillip and Jimmy. Or maybe it was James or Jamie. Yes, that's it - Phillip and Jamie King."

Matt closed his eyes to the bombshell, as he tried to absorb the ramifications of the news. Propping his elbows on the table, he rested his head in his hands. Momentarily stunned, he was incapable of verbalizing a response. His mind forbade him to travel where his heart begged him to go. Instead he exhaled a slow breath and attempted to focus on his friend.

Maude dropped her hand with a loud clang on her delicate china cup. She looked dumbstruck by the obvious distress on her neighbor's face. "Matt, please tell me what's going on. Do you know Billy's family?"

He shook his head vigorously, not yet fully capable of comprehending Maude's question. Matt felt like he'd just stepped off a cliff and still hadn't hit the bottom. For an interminable minute his only point of reference was the inane musical strains of some silly television theme song that signaled the end of the program. In his bewildered state, he vaguely registered the return of Billy.

"Aunt Maude . . . " Hesitating in the doorway, the child's pinched face paled with anxiety. Looking from one alarmed adult to the other, he began to cry.

Getting up and going over to the boy, Maude rubbed his back in an effort to placate his fears. "Everything is okay, dear. Matt and I are just having a grown-up conversation."

"But, Matt looks mad. Is he mad?" Billy clung to Maude's hand, while his eyes begged for reassurance from his hero.

Pulling himself together, Matt stared at the child as if really seeing him for the first time. He opened his mouth to sooth the boy, but found himself strangling on the words. Shaken to his core, he could only gasp at the revelation. It was all there - the tall skinny body, the long limbs, the unruly blond hair, the dimpled cheeks, and the hazel eyes.

William Lee West was a carbon copy of little Lee Stetson. Billy was his son. Swallowing the huge lump in his throat, Matt found his voice. "Come here, pal."

Without hesitation, Billy ran into Matt's welcoming arms, burrowing himself into the powerful embrace and responding with unbridled gratitude to the generous hug. "I love you."

Looking at the boy with disbelief, Matt felt his emotions unravel. Cupping the little face in his big hands, he choked out his words. "Me, too, Billy. I love you, too."

Lavishing one more bear hug upon his son, Matt marveled at how fate had intervened to put the child in his path. All the time he thought he'd been running away from family, only to discover that all of his actions were bringing them together.

Maude looked thunderstruck. "I really want to know what's going on here, Matthew Hamilton."

He barely shook his head. "Later, Maude," he whispered.

"Yes," she agreed. "Maybe in a few hours, we'll all be calmer. For now, Billy and I will go buy groceries." Then moving to gather her purse and store list, she beckoned to the boy. "Come along, dear."

Reluctantly, Matt set Billy on his feet. Immediately he felt an intense loss as the child moved away. "Bye, pal," he managed to say, in a voice deep with longing.

Billy sniffled and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cowboy shirt. "Bye, Matt," he said, waving his hand.

Maude pointed a finger at her neighbor. "Turn the lock on your way out, and be sure to come back for dinner. I can't wait to hear what you have to say for yourself."

He nodded mutely, waiting long enough for them to exit the parking lot before taking his leave. Then slowly moving out the door, he tried to piece together the unfathomable surprise. My God, four years ago when he was forced to leave his family, Amanda was pregnant. She must not have known - surely she would have told him if she knew they had a child on the way.

Matt walked the beach in a trance, the life-altering situation still playing and replaying in his head. Somehow, despite his best intentions, he'd found his family. Not only did he still have Amanda and his two stepsons, but he had Billy, the little boy who bore his looks, even if he didn't bear his last name. How could he ever give them up, all over again?

The old longing returned with a vengeance. With every ounce of his being he wanted to be reunited with his loved ones. While his heart valiantly pushed him to the brink of surrender, his mind's tenacious hold fought against it. The desperate battle waged within him, until memories of the fateful day attacked like a terrifying death squad sent to obliterate everything that mattered to him.

Walking out on the long fishing pier, Matt stood alone by the railing, watching the waves thunder against the wooden pilings. Staring into the murky deep, his mind opened the gates to his dark secrets, and once again he found himself tumbling through the abyss to hell.

* * *

><p><strong>SMK, SMK, SMK<strong>

**Flashback: September 22, 1987 - 1:30 p.m.**

Lee commandeered the family Wagoneer through the streets of Baltimore, scanning the area for a place to park. Against her better judgment, Amanda agreed to let him take the boys out of school for one of the last Orioles' games of the season. He knew how his wife felt about early dismissal, but Crump's offer of box seats was too tempting to pass up. Lee wanted her to go, too, but unfortunately she was scheduled to give the introduction class for the new Agency recruits.

The boys were full of enthusiasm as they made their way into Memorial Stadium, and Lee basked in their earnest words of appreciation. Easy conversation and guy-only jokes kept the three of them entertained as they bought refreshments and made their way to the coveted seats. It was a perfect late September day, still plenty warm for short sleeves and bright enough to wear their aviator sunglasses and identical baseball caps. Anyone around could easily assume the trio comprised a close knit family unit.

Stretching out his long legs in front of him, Lee felt totally relaxed as he reveled in the joy of parenting Amanda's kids. They'd been doing great together all summer, ever since he'd moved in with them. The early testy feelings had long since dissipated, and Phillip and Jamie went out of their way to make him feel valued as a friend and parent-figure in their lives. If being a stepfather to the boys was what Amanda meant by "normal," then he was a true convert.

"Lee, can we go get some more snacks?" Phillip's voice interrupted his musings.

"Guys, you can't be hungry already? Did you simply inhale all the soda, popcorn, and hotdogs we bought?"

"We're growing boys, Lee. We gotta eat." Jamie flashed his tin grin at his stepfather.

"Okay, okay, who am I to deny you your daily bread. Will a twenty be enough?" Lee reached for his wallet and passed the bill to his youngest stepson. A flash of warning passed through his mind, giving him pause about letting the boys go alone. "Ah, guys, maybe I'll go with you. Let's just wait for Cal Ripken to bat."

"Jeez, Lee, we aren't babies." Phillip clearly didn't want his stepfather holding their hands.

"I know, chief, but in my line of work, we can't be too careful." Lee started to rise from his seat, but a loud crack from the bat drew his eyes back to the game. Cal Ripken was rounding first base and heading for second. By now everyone was on their feet cheering. With his attention diverted, he didn't notice the boys slip into the crowd, until two runs had scored and Ripken was safe on third base.

Chastising himself for his obsessive protectiveness, Lee concentrated on the game, jumping to his feet again and again, as the Orioles scored three more runs in the same inning. When Cal's brother, Billy Ripken, grounded out to end the home team's time at bat, Lee felt annoyed that the boys still weren't back. Wondering if they were up to some kind of mischief, he began to lose his focus on the game.

Anxiety started to build when Lee looked at his watch for the fourth time. By now, they'd been gone for over thirty minutes. Standing at his seat, he searched the crowd for the familiar faces. Watching the stairs and exits, he scanned the walkway the boys should have taken. Finally, he couldn't pace in place any longer and set out to retrace the steps that brought them to their seats at the start of the game.

Returning to the refreshment area, they'd visited upon arrival, Lee was disappointed again. Now he quickened his steps to the men's room and then to the next refreshment area. Nothing. Retracing his steps, he went on to check two more refreshment counters and another rest room. God, where were they? Looking at his watch, he noted forty minutes had passed. Racing back to the box seats, he grew even more alarmed when he found no sign of them. By now, he was beyond worry and quickly moving toward panic. Once more, he ran through the refreshment areas and rest rooms. It was like they had vanished into thin air.

After fifty minutes, Lee knew he needed help. Grabbing the arm of the nearest security guard, the frantic stepfather blurted out his fear. "My two boys are missing."

"Sir, don't worry. This happens all the time. They may have wanted to explore the stadium or have found friends they know. They'll turn up."

"No, you don't understand. This may be a matter of National Security." Lee reached for his Agency I.D. and flashed his badge.

Immediately the guard put a call through to the security team. "We're on it, sir."

Within minutes, the whole stadium was combed, and announcements for lost boys were made over the loud speaker. Everyone came up empty. Finally Lee went to the security office and called the Agency. Patching a call through to his superior, he collapsed in a chair while he waited. When the familiar voice came on the line, he could hardly talk. "Billy, it's Lee. I think Phillip and Jamie King have been abducted."

******End of flashback******

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **

**Washington, D.C. - September 22, 1991**

_"We come together in our grief to acknowledge our loss."_ The minister's crystal clear voice pulled Amanda from her personal thoughts as she sat in the small chapel with the other mourners. It was a day of emotional extremes - a day to mourn the passing of a man who died too soon and a day to celebrate a life well-lived.

With an discreet glance, she noted every seat was occupied for the private funeral service of Joseph King. The gathering of family and dear friends was impressive, but it didn't begin to represent the far reaching influence of a much loved and respected humanitarian.

In ordinary circumstances, the service would be held in a large sanctuary for an overflow crowd. Distinguished colleagues and honored dignitaries would be on hand to eulogize the accomplishments of the greatly admired man. However, for the sake of family secrets and hidden identities, Joe's passing would be marked only by those closest to him.

The observance was far more difficult than Amanda had imagined. It seemed rather bizarre for her to be sharing the front row with the immediate family. Despite an enduring friendship over the years, she was, after all, the ex-wife of the deceased. Joe's second wife, Carrie, had insisted that she be included with his boys. No matter what awkward moments they'd experienced in their blended family, Carrie King had always treated her as a treasured member of the clan.

Amanda sat between her sons, almost dwarfed by their strong young bodies. They looked grown-up in their dark suits and ties, with their hair neatly combed and their shoes shined to perfection. Just the same, she recognized their child-like need for comfort as she held their hands. No longer little boys, yet not quite men, the teens knew the merits of "a stiff upper lip," taught, no doubt, at their prep school - the alma mater of their father. Despite their public fortitude, they still turned to their mother to guide them through the minefield of emotional turmoil.

Behind their stoic faces, the boys' tears teetered on the edge. In the days since Joe's death, they'd experienced a wide range of emotions. Their feelings of love and grief had intermingled with anger and guilt. Their loss had been especially hard on Phillip, who'd recently argued with his dad and never had the chance to heal the minor breach before a sudden heart attack intervened to end their stalemate.

Directly behind her, Amanda felt her mother's hand squeeze her shoulder. Once again, her faithful parent was present to sustain the family in yet another crisis. Dotty and Curt had been a bulwark of love and support from the moment they arrived.

The boys needed their maternal grandmother as much as they needed their mother. After all, the two West women had been the parenting team that reared Phillip and Jamie while Joe worked in Africa for nearly a decade.

Out of the corner of her eye, Amanda caught sight of Curt giving Jamie the thumb's up sign . Their step-grandfather was very important to the teens, especially now that he was the lone adult male figure left in the family.

If only Lee was still around, she thought wistfully. Even after four years, the boys longed for his return. As their stepfather, he'd made an indelible imprint on their lives, even though their time together had been all too brief.

"Lee," Amanda said, surprised that she spoke aloud her husband's name in the midst of the service. She felt the boys squeeze her hands, letting her know that they understood the pain she was feeling.

With a tissue, she dabbed at a tear that escaped her carefully guarded composure. At least she had a fitting cover for her sorrow. Practically no one would guess that she wept for her husband who never had a proper farewell. There was nothing to mark Lee's life or possible death - nothing to pay tribute to a heroic man who sacrificed everything for the sake of his family.

In her own way, Amanda created rituals of remembrance. She made annual pilgrimages to the Jefferson Memorial, where she sat and reflected on their life together. No one ever questioned the flowers she left at the base of a stately pillar. Nor did anyone seem to note her slow walks along the Potomac River and through the streets of Georgetown as she relived her four year journey with Lee Stetson.

_"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you . . . ." _Amanda meditated on the minister's words, as he read from the fourteenth chapter of the Gospel of John._ "Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."_

Amanda sighed at the poignant words of scripture. "Afraid", she repeated. She had long ago come to terms with fear. On the night her husband disappeared, she had faced her worst fear and somehow found the strength to survive. However, peace was an entirely different state of being. Peace had eluded her for years. No, she wasn't there yet, but she was working on it.

Facing the old pain, she allowed her mind to wander back to the day Mr. Melrose entered her freshmen recruits' introduction class - the day his words shattered her world forever.

* * *

><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

*****Flashback:*** ****September 22, 1987 - The Agency - 4:00 p.m.**

The head of field operations slipped quietly into the new recruits' introduction class and waited by the door until Amanda interrupted her presentation. With an almost imperceptible nod, he signaled for her to step outside the room.

"What can I do for you, sir?" It did not escape her notice that Mr. Melrose's dark eyes failed to meet her own, and his always pleasant smile lacked its usual warmth. Feeling a vague sense of uneasiness, Amanda willed herself to remain calm, while she waited for him to convey the intent of his visit.

"Amanda," Billy stated with kind authority. "Please dismiss the recruits and come to my office."

"Sir, I only have ten more minutes before the class ends . . . ."

"Now, Amanda. I need you to come now." He gave her arm a gentle squeeze and abruptly walked away.

"Oh, okay, sir," she whispered to his back. Seeking to steady the slight tremor in her hand, she reached to grasp the doorframe before addressing the watchful faces of her students.

"Ah, everyone . . ." Her voice caught before she could finish her sentence. "Ah, that will be all for today. Agent Beaman will meet with you tomorrow at the same time." Not waiting for anyone to respond, she managed to retrieve her purse and hurry toward the section chief's office.

Using her signature short knock, Amanda took a shuddering breath and pushed the door open, just far enough to allow her slender frame to slip through. "Mr. Melrose, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't help but be concerned. Has something happened?"

"Please, Amanda, sit down." Billy politely guided her to a chair. Before she could situate herself, Dr. Kelford came through the door, his timing only serving to raise her anxiety level.

Still holding her hand, Billy spoke. "I'm sorry to worry you, but your husband called. Lee's okay," he hastened to add. "However, he's afraid that your sons are, ah, missing. There is a strong possibility they have been abducted."

For a long moment, Amanda sat unmoving, carefully cataloging the information she wasn't ready to accept. Giving her supervisor a weak smile, she decided to challenge his assumption. "Sir, I don't understand. Phillip and Jamie are at an Orioles' baseball game with Lee, sitting in box seats, right behind home plate. You know how protective my husband is with the boys. He's very responsible and caring when it comes to our family. I'm sure he's keeping a pretty tight rein on them." Denial continued to cloud Amanda's reasoning as she fought to grasp at anything but the truth.

Billy coughed and shot an uncomfortable look toward Dr. Kelford. "Amanda, listen to me, please."

"Sir," she interrupted. "Lee may have become separated from the boys, and they haven't turned up yet. Phillip and Jamie may have spotted friends, or maybe they're hanging out at a concession stand. They could have even tried to find the door to the clubhouse, hoping to get team autographs. There must be over 40,000 people at the game. Lee just needs to be patient until the boys show up. He's so new at fathering, I think he's letting his fears get the better of him."

"Amanda, stop." Billy's firm command jolted her out of her ramble. "Lee has already contacted stadium security, the Baltimore Police Department, and the Agency. The boys haven't turned up, and he has every reason to be concerned. I hope to God you're right, but we can't take any chances. An Agency team is already on the scene."

With eyes closed, Amanda slowly absorbed the impact of what her boss was saying. As her stubborn mind grappled with the implication of her missing sons, she felt a chilling wave of fear settle over her body. Smoothing her trembling hands over the pleats of her linen skirt, she swallowed her rising panic and confronted Mr. Melrose in a raspy whisper. "Sir, what exactly happened?"

Billy mopped his furrowed brow with a handkerchief and perched his bulky frame on the edge of the desk before responding. "Amanda, there isn't much to go on. We don't know what went down, but the boys went to get refreshments and didn't return to their seats. Lee searched everywhere for them."

"Sir, maybe I just need to drive to Baltimore and have a look, myself." Rising nervously, Amanda's erratic movements prompted both men to take defensive action. Instantly she found her path blocked by the good doctor.

"Mrs. Stetson, we know this came as quite a shock to you, so it would be best if you sit back down and let us help you in anyway we can." Putting a supportive hand on her elbow, Dr. Kelford halted her determined effort to exit the office.

"Please, let me go. I want to help look for my sons." Her voice increased in volume as each word escalated to a shrill pitch. "Where's Lee? Tell him to come and get me. The two of us need to be on this case together. We work best as a team."

"Amanda." Billy moved to stand beside her. "Let someone take you home. I promise, we'll have the whole Agency on this if necessary, but I want Lee off the case, too. He can't be objective when it comes to you and the boys. Agent Duffy is already driving him to your house. I'll join you later in Arlington."

Looking from one concerned face to the other, Amanda wiped at a lone tear that slid down her cheek. Nodding her head slowly, she silently consented to Billy's offer. In a haze of grief, she found herself ushered through the bullpen by Francine Desmond. At least she thought it was Francine. The blonde's arm held tightly to her waist, and her usual snide remarks were replaced by words of comfort.

"Amanda, I promise no one will sleep until your boys are returned, safe and sound. You have to believe they'll be fine."

"I know. Thank you, Francine." Everywhere she looked, Amanda saw loyal employees going about their business. Did they have any idea how lucky they were? At the end of the day, they could go home to their spouses and children and hold them a little closer.

With Francine's help, she managed to navigate the halls of the Agency and make it to the parking garage. Within seconds, they sped through the streets of Georgetown, heading for Arlington. As if entering some alternative universe, Amanda watched from a distance as a blur of buildings and houses passed by the car window. Nothing seemed to register until she walked through the front door of her home on Maplewood Drive.

However, this couldn't be her home. Instead of the usual hubbub of sibling rivalry, she was greeted by the uproar of two grieving men, locked in verbal warfare. Watching from the landing, she stood slack-jawed as Lee and Joe shot wounding barbs at each other. In this defining moment, Joe was the angry accuser and Lee the remorseful accused.

***** End of Flashback*****

* * *

><p>To be continued<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**Outer Banks - Evening of September 23, 1991 - 7:30 p.m**.

The ominous clouds and sixty mile per hour winds announced the advent of the thunderstorm blowing in from the mainland. Throwing the last of his luggage into the back of the Jeep, Matt struggled to secure the tailgate, just as the raindrops started to fall. Making a mad dash toward the Ocean Watch Retreat, he managed to reach the cover of the awning before the skies opened up with a torrential downpour.

After wrestling with his haunting memories for the better part of the day, Matt finally came to the only possible conclusion to his discovery. He was leaving, packing up and moving on, getting as far away as he could before his past hurt the people he loved more than life. The only concession he made for himself was the chance to say goodbye to Maude and Billy. Having turned down the dinner invitation, Matt hoped he wasn't too late to catch his little boy before he went to bed.

It didn't take more than a light knock on the door to get Maude's attention. He knew she'd probably been peering out the window for hours, wondering what became of him.

"Matthew, get in here. You'll catch your death out in this weather." Ushering him into the warmth of her kitchen, she handed him a steaming cup of coffee. "Well, Matt, I worried about you all day. You haven't forgotten our unfinished business from this morning, have you?"

Ignoring the question, he followed Maude into the living room and took a seat in the old leather recliner. "Looks like I missed out on Billy. Is he asleep already?"

"Yes, he was out like a light in ten minutes flat. He wouldn't take a nap this afternoon, so he was really tuckered out." Maude cast an accusing look at her guest. "If you wanted to see Billy, you should have come earlier. The little guy had his nose pressed to the window for half the day, hoping you'd come back."

"I'm sorry. I had a lot on my mind and a lot to accomplish." A flash of lightening and a loud clap of thunder interrupted his train of thought, allowing an old childhood memory to nudge his conscience. Suddenly he saw himself again at five years of age - a little boy, sitting in a window seat, with his forehead pressed against a pane of glass as he desperately waited for his parents to return home. Only, they never came back, and his world was turned upside down.

Matt took a sip of coffee and weighed his dilemma. How, after his own traumatic childhood, could he abandon his son? Whether by death or desertion, the loss was all the same to a small child.

Maude studied him intently before exhaling a long breath. "You're him, aren't you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Matt nearly choked as he shot his neighbor an incredulous look.

"Matthew Hamilton, you can deny it until the next millennium, but I'm convinced you're Ann's missing husband and Billy's father."

"Well, that certainly is a pretty big leap. How did you come to that conclusion?" He wasn't sure if his neighbor was just testing him or if she really knew the truth.

"Billy uncovered some startling information tonight." Maude fingered a small photo album, decorated with crayon stick figures and embossed with the words, "My Family".

"What are you talking about? You didn't say anything to the boy, did you?" Matt could feel his labored breathing tighten against the wall of his chest.

"No, of course not. But, Billy had something important to say to me. When I was putting him to bed, he pulled out a photo album from one of the zipper compartments in his suitcase. It seems he brought some pictures from home." Maude carefully leafed through the cellophane covered photographs and stopped at the picture of a couple. Handing it to Matt, she silently waited for his explanation.

His hand shook as he took the album and focused on the first snapshot. There he was, certainly thinner, with a more generous head of hair, but definitely recognizable. He was smiling broadly, gazing lovingly at his beautiful Amanda. The occasion was still crystal clear in his mind. Jamie had snapped the picture at a backyard picnic, right after they came clean about their marriage and their jobs. God, they were so happy!

Ignoring Maude's presence, he allowed himself to step back in time and witness the missed moments of family events. Flipping through the other photographs, he gazed at the images of his stepsons. A lanky Philip crouched next to a soccer ball. Dressed in his red and black uniform, the teen's face wore a mask of gritty determination. In another picture, Jamie smiled shyly as he posed with his swim team. All signs of his despised braces and oversized glasses were gone from his youthful face.

Continuing to peruse the album, he stopped at a picture of Dotty and Curt. They were dressed in formal attire and appeared ready to embark on some great adventure in Curt's prized airplane. Turning to the back of the album, he came upon Billy's baby pictures. His heart grabbed when he studied the sleeping baby. Nestled against his mother's shoulder, the infant's tiny fingers grazed her lips. Shaking his head in wonder, Matt chuckled softly when his eyes beheld the blond tyke sitting in his high chair with spaghetti clinging to his face and hair. A wistful longing filled his frame, knowing he couldn't go back and relive the moments he should have shared with his family.

The very last photo in the album was a recent shot of Amanda and the boys; they were all lined up on Maude's deck. The grinning teens nearly dwarfed their mother as she held a beaming Billy in her arms. He could barely take his eyes off the image of his wife. She appeared even more beautiful with the passage of time. Closing the album carefully, he handed it back to Maude.

She eyed him expectantly. "Billy seems to think the man in the photo looks very much like you. In fact, he came right out and asked, 'Is Matt my Daddy?' I didn't know how to answer him." She paused, waiting for the reaction that didn't come. "Matthew, dear, I know it's none of my business, but I can't ignore this revelation. If I didn't know Ann and the boys as well as I do, I'd just let it go, but . . ."

"That's exactly what you need to do; just let it go." Matt was on his feet, pacing back and forth. "Look, Maude, I know you mean well, but you're really walking on shaky ground here. There are very good reasons why the family is separated - reasons that I'm not at liberty to discuss."

"Then you aren't denying that Billy is your son?"

"No, I won't deny it. Everything fits together, not to mention I finally saw myself in the little dimpled face and long body." Matt couldn't help but smile. "He really is a chip off the old block, isn't he?"

"He most certainly looks like you." Maude laughed. "I saw the resemblance almost immediately, but I didn't have any reason to put you two together until today. The child mimics you in so many ways."

Turning serious again, Matt appealed to Maude for understanding. "Look, as wonderful as it is to know Billy's my son, it has to end here. You can't mention your discovery to anyone. The safety of the whole family depends on me staying away from them. My wife and older sons don't know me by the name of Matthew Hamilton. They can't be told."

"Billy will try to tell them."

"Then you need to deny my similarity to the picture." He stared at her until she nodded. "Now, please, I have to hit the road."

"Don't you want to know about them, Matthew?" Maude moved to block the doorway and stood her ground as he crowded her space.

He held her gaze for a long moment before giving a silent nod of consent. Slowly sitting back down, he warned her of the inevitable. "Maude, nothing you can tell me will change anything. I'm still going to leave tonight."

She breathed out a sigh of relief. "Yes, dear, I hear you." Then, lowering herself to the sofa, she began to bring him up to speed on his family. "I first met them in July of 1988. Ann and her mother started coming here with Billy when he was about three months old. He was an adorable baby, but his colic had worn them out. When the older boys joined them for the vacation, everything settled down. The infant thrived in the ocean air and was soothed by the sound of the surf. At the end of two weeks, everyone seemed reborn."

Matt sat with his hands folded, eyes glued to the floor. Occasionally he nodded, letting Maude know he was following every detail.

"When the boys returned to school, Ann went back to Durham and her studies at Duke University. She finished her Master's degree and dove right into teaching American Literature. Everyone was so proud of her. Somehow, she managed to handle whatever life threw her way. She proved to be a very determined woman and an excellent teacher."

Matt felt his chest swell with pride for his wife's accomplishments. He was grateful she could pick up the pieces and go on with her life.

"And, Billy? What happens to him when his mother's at work?"

"Billy goes to preschool, right on campus. It's more than just babysitting, because he's involved in some kind of gifted program. The child is obviously very precocious."

Matt couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, so I've noticed."

"Pete and Jay, or whatever you call them, are boarding students at a private school in Maryland. The younger boy does extremely well academically, but he can be very shy. He does have a passion for photography. Jay told me once that his stepfather got him started."

Matt smiled, pleased that he had passed on something of lasting value to Jamie. Even so, he felt a pang of guilt that the prolonged adversity had probably caused his stepson to retreat further into himself. "And what about his brother?"

"Well, there were a few bumps in the road for him. Pete had no patience with the confines of a classroom, and he fell behind in his studies when he was a high school freshman. When the family broke up, he had a chip on his shoulder for a very long time."

"I can imagine."

"Fortunately, he's doing better and will graduate next spring. Soccer is his saving grace. Now that he has his grades up and can be part of the team, he's a happier young man. I think sports help him channel his anger."

Matt winced. He was afraid Phillip would have a rough time with all that transpired. School was always a challenge for the boy. He identified with Phillip's predicament. The teen didn't belong behind a desk. He needed action to excel. Glancing at Maude, he nodded for her to continue.

Maude looked wistful. "It seems strange to me that a mother, obviously devoted to her children, is separated from her older boys. There is a deep sadness about all of them, but they clearly share a very special attachment."

"Yeah, Amanda and the boys always had a solid emotional bond." Struggling with remorse and hurt, Matt tried to make sense of the family breakup. "Apparently Joe convinced my wife to give up custody of the boys. God, that must have ripped their hearts out."

"Ann was definitely unhappy with the arrangement."

Matt closed his eyes, wrestling with the pain the family suffered. Now that Joe was gone, the boys had to face more grief. Even so, they should be returned to Amanda. He glanced back at Maude's worried face and signaled for her to proceed with the story.

Maude sighed and spoke in hushed tones. "At times, Ann seemed haunted and mysterious. Over the years, we grew close, but there were large chunks of her life she never talked about. Despite her silence, she seemed to trust me. Several times a year she left Billy here, so she could go on one of her "research" trips. I suspected she was searching for information about her missing husband."

Matt shook his head in disbelief, but continued to study the floor and twist the wedding band on his left hand. "What about her mother, Dotty West? Where did she fit into all of the upheaval?"

"Oh, Dotty! She lives in California with her fly boy husband. I think they call him Captain Curt."

"My God. I can't believe Dotty married."

"Yes, she stayed with Ann until Billy was two and half years old, and then she finally married her long-time, gentleman friend. I didn't see Dotty much after she moved away."

Matt shook his head. "The separation must have been very hard on both of them."

"Fortunately, mother and daughter remained close. Ann took all the boys to California for Thanksgiving. Then Dotty and Curt flew to Durham for Christmas and Easter. In fact, they flew back to D.C. for Joe's funeral. They're determined to be together for the big family events."

"Good." Matt managed to smile. Drumming the coffee table with his long fingers, he allowed himself a few wistful memories of their brief time as family and then let out a long sigh of resignation.

"Matt, are you in some kind of trouble with the law?"

"No, Maude. Look, I don't want you to worry. I'm not on the wrong side of the law. Actually, I'm one of the good guys." Seeing her confusion, he paused to weigh what else he could possibly say. Knowing how much she meant to the family reinforced his desire to help her understand. Reaching out to touch her arm, he softened his voice. "Listen to me, Maude, sometimes people in law enforcement unintentionally put family members at risk. Things happened a long time ago that threatened my wife and stepsons. I went away to protect them, and I'm going to have to stay away." He looked at his watch. "Now, I have to go."

For a moment she was silent, staring at him with eyes veiled in sadness. Then, as he grabbed his jacket, she found her voice. "Matt, don't be foolish. You can't go out in the storm. I mean, where could you possibly have to go tonight?"

"Maude, I'm leaving, and I won't be back. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but you need to respect my judgment."

"Hold on, right there, Matthew. Don't you think about vanishing into thin air. You have a little boy who needs you, two teens who worship you, and a wife who loves you. I just can't stand by and let you get away."

"Sorry, Maude, you don't get a vote. Trust me, my leaving is for the best. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going upstairs to look in on my son before I go."

Nodding mutely, she pulled a tissue from her sweater pocket and dabbed at her tearful eyes.

Matt quickly headed for the dark staircase, never seeing the obstacle in his path until he stumbled over the pajama-clad body of the tiny spy. Flipping on the light, he stared into the wide, confused eyes of his son. "Oh my God!"

Billy reacted quickly and began to scamper up the stairs, looking over his shoulder in fear. Sobbing loudly, the child screamed when two powerful hands grabbed him around the waist and pulled him backwards.

"It's okay, son," Matt said as he turned the boy in his embrace. A rush of paternal love flooded his frame when he clutched the child to his chest and rocked him back and forth.

As the fight left him, the boy's body relaxed, and he wrapped his spindly arms and legs around Matt's torso, whimpering into the hollow of his neck. "Daddy?" Billy choked between muffled sobs. "Are you my Daddy?"

"Yes, son," Matt whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Oh, Daddy, I found you. Don't go."

Matt looked helplessly at Maude. Now that the truth was revealed, there'd be no hiding it again.

Billy continued to sob, frantically tightening his strangle hold on his father.

Maude hurried to intervene, but when she tried to take Billy, he wouldn't let go. Instead, she led them to a chair. "I'll get Billy a drink," she said, worriedly casting her gaze on Matt. "You stay right there."

Finally prying the small fingers from his neck, Matt couldn't take his eyes off the living, breathing wonder lovingly embraced in his arms. Only now was he able to grasp the pride and devotion his own father must have felt for him.

"Welcome to parenthood, Matthew." Maude smiled as she handed him a glass of milk for Billy.

"Sit up, son, and try to take a sip." Matt gently repositioned Billy in his lap.

The child's chest still heaved with residual sobs, but he accepted the glass and gulped down the milk, leaving a white mustache on his upper lip.

Wiping the moisture from his son's face, Matt smiled at the miniature version of himself. "What do you say if I tuck you in, pal?"

"No, Daddy. I wanna sleep with you. Please, Daddy." Billy's stubborn streak quickly asserted itself.

"Son, I have to go out of town tonight."

"No, don't go." The boy's eyes grew stormy with threatening tears.

Shooting Maude a helpless look, the novice father saw her confirm the obvious. "Okay, Billy, I'll lay down with you, but only until you fall asleep."

"Promise, Daddy?" Billy's fingers cupped his father's chin.

"You bet! I promise." Matt kissed the small nose and began moving toward the staircase.

Just as they passed the hall telephone, it started to ring. Glancing at Maude, who was struggling to her feet, Matt decided to answer it himself. "Stay put, Maude. I'll get it." Shifting Billy in his arms, he grabbed for the phone on the third ring. "Hello, ah, Ocean Watch Retreat." His gravely voice sounded hoarse and full of emotion.

Hearing a short gasp and then a long silence, Matt shrugged and started to hang up.

A familiar scratchy voice stopped him. "Ah, to whom am I speaking, please?"

Matt's body sagged with a mixture of hopeful recognition and panicky dread. "Ah, this is Maude Mayfield's neighbor." It was all he could do to keep from blurting out his true identity. "Hold on a second." Motioning frantically toward Maude, he didn't leave any doubt as to who was calling. Before handing over the receiver, Matt cautioned her to keep their secret. "Not now. Don't tell her now."

"Hello, this is Maude. Oh, hello, dear. Calm down, please. Yes, everything is fine. Oh, the man? Well he's a friend who came for dinner. He's been helping me entertain Billy."

Placing her hand over the receiver, Maude appealed to Matt for help. "Ann wants to talk to Billy."

At the mention of his mother's name, Billy grabbed for the phone. "Mommy, I want to talk to Mommy." Still held captive in his father's arms, he hollered again, "Mom-my."

Losing his battle with the squirming child, Matt set him on the floor and held him firmly by the arm. Sternly shaking his head, he warned Maude not to let Billy take the phone. He knew, without a doubt, what the boy would tell his mother.

Maude simply stood helpless, torn between Matt's refusal and Ann's insistence. Finally she spoke again into the phone. "Billy is occupied right now . . . . Oh, well, of course, dear. Yes, I'll put him on."

Maude shot Matt a defeated look and quickly shifted the phone to Billy's eager hand.

"Hi, Mommy. I miss you. When ya coming?" The boy resisted his father's yank on the the collar of his pajamas.

"No, I didn't have a bad dream." Billy shook his head as if his mother could see him. "I'm drinking milk with Daddy." He watched his father tap his finger to his lips, with the unmistakable signal to be quiet.

The child shot him a defiant look and turned his full attention back to his mother. "No, Mommy, not Daddy Joe. My Daddy."

Matt's hand shot out to take the receiver, but Billy wiggled sideways to avoid his father. Quickly the boy blurted out the rest of his news. "Daddy gave me a bath, and he played cowboys with me, and . . ." The child's voice was muffled as a large hand clamped over his mouth.

Looking at Matt with pleading eyes, Billy tried to talk against the palm that gagged his mouth. "Ummm, ummm," the tyke mumbled. Desperate to get his words out, he closed his teeth over his father's thumb.

"Ouch," Matt yelped, jerking his hand away from the boy's mouth and shooting him a poisonous look. Pacing in a circle, he tried to walk off the pain.

"I'm sorry, Daddy." Billy patted his father's leg and calmly held out the phone. "Mommy wants to know your name." Ignoring his father's silent signals, Billy preceded with his best guess. "I think his name is "Matt Pooh Hami-on."

Finally Maude confiscated the phone. "Ann, dear, Billy is just a little over-excited. You know how his imagination runs away with him." She glanced over at Matt who sat on the stairs, while Billy inspected the injured thumb and offered to make it better with a kiss.

"What, dear? Oh, Matt. He's Matthew Hamilton, an island resident. He's renting the beach house next door for the off season. Matt's in law enforcement; there's no need to worry about him. He works beach security during the summer, mostly in Nag's Head. Actually, he is assistant to the chief of security. Maybe you can meet him when you come to get Billy."

Matt frantically shook his head. "Maude, be careful what you tell her," he whispered. Grabbing Billy up in his arms again, he retreated further up the stairs, while keeping an ear tuned toward the conversation.

"So, Ann, should we still expect you the day after tomorrow? Yes, dear, I'll tell Billy you'll see him after two more sleeps. Please don't worry. Just drive safely and get here when you can - although sooner might be better than later. I promise to explain everything. Now, I have to say goodbye, dear. Goodbye."

* * *

><p><strong>SMK, SMK, SMK<strong>

Matt slipped off his shoes and stretched out on the bed beside his squirming son. After a trip to the bathroom, a glass of water, two chapters of Curious George, another trip to the bathroom, a desperate search for "blankie", and two rounds of a "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" duet, the tyke was finally showing signs of sleepiness.

Turning on his side, the bushed father laid a comforting hand on his child's chest, holding him still long enough for the small body to succumb to slumber.

He couldn't imagine how Amanda managed on her own, earning a degree, holding down a job, and caring for small child. She probably lived her life in a perpetual state of exhaustion. It was so unfair that she raised Phillip and Jamie as a single mother and then had to do it all over again with Billy. He wished he could have been the husband she deserved - the kind of guy who shared all the home and parenting responsibilities.

Matt sighed heavily, a procession of regrets marching through his troubled mind. He'd sell his soul if only he could reach for his wife, once again, just as he had four long years ago in their Maplewood Drive home.

* * *

><p><strong>*** Flashback *** September 22, 1987 - 5:00 p.m. Maplewood Drive<strong>

The heated exchange in the Stetson-King residence played like a domestic quarrel scene from a television movie. Ironically, no one was pretending; it was the real deal. Emotions ran at full throttle as the actors unleashed their grievances. Tempers flared with a barrage of words, and accusations hit their mark with unfailing accuracy.

As life crumbled around them, everyone seemed to step out of character. The mild-mannered Joe King was full of rage. The take-charge Lee Stetson was overwhelmed with grief. Instead of basking in the favored status of cherished husband and beloved stepfather, Lee was now cast as the family failure, about to be evicted.

Joe cut a path between the bookcase and the television. "I tried to warn you, Stetson, but you wouldn't listen. If I told you once, I told you a thousand times not to let my sons out of your sight when they were with you."

"Back off, Joe. Your lecture isn't going to help find the boys." Lee's words were peppered with anguish as his voice rose above the fiery reprimands of Joe King.

Mercifully, the warring factions went to their separate corners for a badly needed time-out.

Lee sat slumped on the edge of the sofa, his arms resting on his widespread knees. He didn't need Joe King to make him feel guilty. He was already torturing himself with self-incrimination. If only, any minute now, the boys' feet would thunder down the stairs. Instead the only sound that floated to his ears was Dotty's clipped voice as she talked on the telephone. Apparently his mother-in-law was desperately trying to end the conversation with Aunt Edna.

Carrie King sat silently in the wing back chair, nervously shooting alarmed looks at the emotionally unglued Joe. Her esteemed attorney mate was fully entrenched in lawyer mode. It was apparent the newlywed was shocked by her husband's over-the-top behavior.

The normally pleasant Joe paced back and forth like a caged lion, finally pausing in front of his captive audience to continue his argument. "A man who spent his entire adult life in espionage should know better than to lead his enemies to the doorstep of innocent children. Stetson, you don't qualify to be anyone's father."

Lee leaped to his feet, forcing Joe to take a step backward. It took monumental restraint to hold his clinched fists at bay.

From the landing, a soft voice called to them. "I'm home, sweetheart."

Both Lee and Joe responded immediately to the familiar endearment. As they rushed across the room, Amanda held her ground, her fearful eyes darting from one man to the other.

To his credit, Joe finally managed to hang back, allowing Lee to reach for his wife and wrap her in a cocoon of love. Trembling against her slight frame, he recited his mantra over and over. "I'm so sorry, Amanda. I'm so sorry."

"Sssh, I know, sweetheart. It's not your fault," she assured him.

Lee clung tightly to her, as their swaying bodies rocked back and forth in their own private ritual of comfort. "Amanda," he said, in a voice choked with remorse. "I promise to get the boys back, if it's the last thing I do."

******End of Flashback******

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

**Washington D.C. - September 24, 1991**

Amanda pulled herself from bed for a third time during the endless night. While her mind raced with concerns, her weary body desperately craved sleep. Tiptoeing passed the room of her sleeping sons, she slipped into her robe and headed for the living room area of their modest motel suite.

She had barely dozed the entire night. Ever since the phone call to Maude and Billy, her thoughts had been plagued with unanswered questions. She'd been so unnerved by the conversation, she almost called the North Carolina State Police to have them check on a possible intruder at the Ocean Watch Retreat.

The whole exchange was very bizarre. It wasn't just Billy's imagination she fretted over all night. The truth be told, her own imagination took her on a wild ride for hours. The jolt of deja vu gripped her heart as soon as the deep, masculine voice answered the phone at Maude Mayfield's beach house. Echoes of a long ago mellow baritone floated to consciousness when she heard the gravelly timbre of the mystery man. The voice was definitely deeper than Lee's, but still, it called out to her from a distant time and place.

"Stop it, Amanda," she chastised herself as she sat down on the sofa. There was no use getting her hopes up again for the umpteenth time in four years. It wasn't possible for her long lost husband to suddenly appear in his son's life, especially since he didn't know he had a son. Even she was unaware of new life taking hold in her body when Lee wordlessly pulled from her arms and slipped into the shadows for good.

Trying to calm her nerves, she rocked herself back and forth as she wrestled with the latest predicament. Who was this Matthew Hamilton that Billy called Daddy? Maude Mayfield never mentioned him before tonight. What's more, Maude seemed very anxious to coax her back to the Outer Banks sooner than planned.

Matt - Matthew Hamilton? Reciting the familiar moniker over and over in her mind, Amanda pondered her heart's conclusion. Lee's father name was Matthew, and his mother's maiden name was Hamilton. She knew she shouldn't make too much of the coincidence. After all, Matthew and Hamilton were very common names.

Wringing her hands together in a perpetual motion, she fought the battle between her rational mind and her longing heart. Then wiping away an errant tear, she settled herself by the window to watch the coming dawn that peeked over the eastern horizon. In the hush of the fading darkness, she promised herself to check out Billy's new friend - the man he called Daddy.

* * *

><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

Amanda slammed the trunk closed and slid behind the wheel of her Honda Civic. After a restless night and a terrible week, her emotions were in tatters. Now she faced leaving two grieving teenagers at boarding school and driving six hours to the Outer Banks to claim her youngest child.

Easing the car into the early rush hour traffic, she struggled to block out the pictures from the past that still plagued her thoughts.

"Mom." The adolescent voice of Jamie King startled her back to reality.

"I'm sorry, Jay, what did you say?"

"Mom, I hate it when you call me Jay in private. Can we stop the protective cover in the privacy of our own car?"

"Of course, sweetheart. I'm sorry? Now what did you want to tell me?"

"Please don't make me go back to my snooty private school." Jamie enunciated his words in exaggerated syllables. "I hate it."

"Yeah, Mom," the annoyed Phillip chimed in, too. "We both hate it."

"Now, fellas, you know your Dad was quite insistent that you attend a private prep school. He wanted the best for you guys."

"What he wanted," Jamie grumbled, "was to lock us up and throw away the key."

"Exactly," Phillip agreed. "If Dad wanted prison for us, you and Lee should have let your enemies take us. We could have spent our youth on a chain gang in some Siberian uranium mine."

"Enough boys," Amanda warned, barely keeping the lid on her temper. Sensing another futile battle about to erupt, she pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road. Turning in her seat, she unloaded her frustration. "Listen to me, fellas. Your father spent his every waking hour protecting your safety, and your stepfather sacrificed everything to guarantee your freedom. They both earned your respect and gratitude."

The boys fell silent and gazed out their windows. It was obvious from the looks on their faces, that they were remembering the terrible ordeal that nearly cost them their future.

"Sorry, Mom," Jamie said in a small voice. "Dad's death really rattled us, but certain things need to be aired." His voice trailed off into silence.

Amanda tried to relax, reminding herself the boys needed to get things off their chests. "Okay, guys, let's clear the air."

Pressing his glasses against the bridge of his nose, the teen squared his shoulders and met his mother's gaze with firm resolve. "Well, for starters, we think Dad was awful to you after we were rescued. You always defended him, but God, Mom, he practically took away all your parental rights. He used your job and your marriage against you to win custody of us."

Amanda bit back bitter tears of regret. "Boys, your father never took me to court for custody of you two."

"No," Phillip retorted. "Dad just threatened to return to Africa with us, if you didn't agree to his terms. He was a lawyer, for God's sake. He knew he had your back to the wall." All the pent-up rage came pouring out of the bitter teen.

She sighed heavily, torn between letting her sons speak their mind and the need to dignify their memory of Joe. "Please don't cast your father in a negative light. He loved you both very much and did what he thought was best."

"Dad's dead . . . . D.E.A.D. - Dead. You got that, Mom? He doesn't get to control our family anymore." Phillip punched the door post to emphasize his frustration.

The young man's fury quickly ignited the smoldering embers of anger in his more repressed younger brother. "Mom, we didn't just lose Lee. We lost you. Something in you died when he didn't come back. You just seemed to become a doormat for Dad's decisions."

Amanda dabbed at the tears, precariously perched on her eyelids. "Boys, I gave into your father because his fears were justified. He was right when he said our careers were too dangerous for the family. He was right when he said Lee and I couldn't watch you one hundred percent of the time. He was right when he said our enemies would come after our children, and he was right to secure you from future harm."

"Yeah, he protected us, but on his terms." Phillip said sarcastically. "Dad always had tunnel vision. In his mind something was clearly right or clearly wrong. There were no shades of gray. He laid down the law and everyone had to fall in line. He just dismissed the fact that Lee saved us twice - first from Dad's own political enemies and then from the Agency's enemies."

Amanda could only nod her head. The boys were right; Joe failed to fully appreciate all Lee had done to keep the family safe.

"Mom, despite everything that happened, I'm still glad Lee was a part of our lives." Jamie reached over the front seat to touch his mother's hand. "I don't think our family was ever happier then that summer we shared together - just the four of us: you, Lee, Phillip and me, and of course, Grandma."

"Thank you, Jamie, I really did need to hear the affirmation. I think it was the happiest summer of Lee's life, too." She brushed an errant tear off her cheek and gave her son a warm smile.

Jamie looked over at his seething brother and then continued. "As sorry as I feel for us, I feel even worse for Billy. He never had a complete family, and he never knew his real dad."

Amanda searched the eyes of both her sons. "Billy has you guys and that makes up for a lot. He really knows you love him."

"That's another thing that always bugged me, Mom." Phillip leaned forward and gripped the front seat. "Dad never gave Billy any special attention? The poor little guy couldn't understood why our father wasn't his Dad, too. Hell, whenever we were all together, Billy would call him Daddy Joe. Then Dad would give him a pat on the head and just ignore him."

Amanda closed her eyes to the reminder, preparing to defend Joe's honor again. "Some men aren't comfortable around infants and toddlers, especially the babies who take the terrible twos to new levels. I'm afraid Billy's exuberance and temper tantrums challenged your father's need for quiet and order at home."

"Well, of course." Phillip rolled his eyes in disgust. "I just bet Bozo and I were annoying enough to send Dad fleeing to Africa when we were little."

"Phillip, please, you know your father wanted all of us to go. I'm the one that didn't want to uproot small children and move to a third world country."

"I have a different theory about Dad's attitude," Jamie said. "Billy is Lee's kid, and Dad hated Lee."

"Your father didn't hate Lee." Amanda once again intervened to set the record straight. "Your Dad didn't like what Lee did for a living, and, too, he was unhappy that Lee introduced me to espionage."

"Dad blamed Lee for everything that happened, Mom? Did you blame Lee, too?" Jamie flinched when he saw his mother recoil in surprise.

Amanda shuddered when the old hurt stared her in the face again. Taking a moment to compose herself, she turned to look at her sons. "Much to my regret, anger was a big part of my reaction when you boys were abducted and my husband disappeared for good. However, I wasn't so much angry with Lee as I was with myself. If anyone is to blame, it's me."

"No, Mom," Jamie interrupted. "You shouldn't feel responsible. . . ."

"Oh, yes, I do." Amanda felt a mixture of surprise and relief when her hidden feelings came tumbling out of her mouth. It was time the boys knew the truth. "I made the decision to hire on with the Agency, even when Lee was adamant that I stay out of the dangerous line of work. What's more, I went out of my way to encourage our relationship, despite Lee's reluctance to get involved with a suburban mother."

"Lee didn't really want us?" Jamie asked with hurt in his voice.

"Of course he did," she responded quickly. "However, when we fell in love, we both sensed getting married would make things unsafe for our family, but neither one of us could bear to end the relationship. It was Lee who thought up the mystery marriage, and I saw it as the only way we could be together."

"Jeez," Phillip said, "Why get married at all?"

"Because," Amanda said with a long look, "marital commitment is very important. However, we soon found out that living in secret was a poor substitute for a real marriage. I'm afraid my perfect fantasy of wedded bliss got the better of me, and I convinced Lee to live together openly as man and wife. He really wanted to be part of the family, too, so he set aside his hesitation. It was my choices of career, dating and marriage that set us all up for disaster, including Lee who paid the ultimate price."

"Stop it, Mom," Phillip pleaded. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Bad things happen."

Jamie watched his mother closely. "Mom, if you could have it all back, would you take it? I mean if you could have your job at the Agency, Lee, all of us together, would you do it again?"

"No, sweetheart, after what happened to you guys, I could never go back to the Agency. I have a lot of regrets about my choices, but I'll tell you this . . . I'm not sorry we had Lee in our lives. He was definitely worth it."

"Yeah, I think so, too," Jamie whispered.

Amanda took a deep breath and stretched over the seat to hug her sons. "Now, look, guys. I really need to get you back to school. I'm sorry to be leaving you a day earlier than planned, but Maude made it sound like I'd better show up today."

"It's okay," the boys said in unison, but with very little enthusiasm.

Amanda studied their solemn faces. "Fellas, I want you to know I do take your wishes into consideration. Phillip, it doesn't make any sense to transfer out of private school when you are so close to graduation. You might get further behind if you decide to make the move now. However, I won't try to dictate your choice of a college. You are free to choose wherever you want to go. It doesn't have to be Georgetown like your father expected."

"If I even decide to go to college," Phillip mumbled.

"Well, sweetheart, that will be your choice, too."

Amanda started the engine and pulled out into the traffic. Catching her younger son's eyes in the rearview mirror, she singled him out. "Jamie, if you will hang in there for this semester, we can talk again about other options for you."

"You really mean that, Mom?" The teen's sullen face widened into a grin.

"Yes, I do. I promise both you guys that things are going to ease up. We aren't going to live our lives burdened with rigid restrictions anymore. We still have to be responsible and cautious, but it's time to drop the paranoid secrecy."

As both boys cut loose with a loud whoop, Amanda felt the incredible burden lift for the first time in ages. Her long repressed instincts seemed to kick back into action, enabling her to envision new possibilities for the future.

"Guys, I promise, Billy and I will not live apart from you indefinitely. If I can possibly swing it, I will resign from my job at the end of the term and move closer to your school. Maybe we can all be living together as family by Christmas."

"Yes," they shouted, with unrestrained joy.

With an element of calm settling upon the car's occupants, the boys seemed content to pull their walkman headsets over their ears and retreat to their favorite music stations.

Amanda smiled at the change of attitude and popped her favorite audiotape into the car cassette player. The welcome peace freed her to examine her own inner turmoil that weighed heavily on her heart. Soon her thoughts wandered back to the past, and she found herself tripping over the minefield of family and Agency memories.

* * *

><p><strong>***** Flashback***** September 22, 1987 - 7:00 p.m. Maplewood Drive<strong>

The Stetson-King-West household settled into a stony silence. Agency personnel came and went with little information. Despite their absence, everyone was aware that some agents remained, hovering in cars parked in front of the house.

Carrie King graciously excused herself, feeling it was best to fulfill her responsibilities at her school's parent-teacher conference. The longtime career social studies teacher was definitely overwhelmed by the shocking ordeal and the confusing dynamics of the passionate people she cherished as family.

Somehow, Joe managed to put a temporary lid on his bottomless pit of words, and Lee retreated to his private cave of emotional isolation. Only the clatter of dishes and the aroma of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and buttered green beans attested to any activity in the entire downstairs.

Amanda was roused from a drowsy state at her husband's side when her mother's stoic voice commanded everyone's attention. "Dinner is served." Rising slowly, under the crushing weight of their family crisis, the solemn group proceeded in single file to the dining room. Ever the perfect hostess, the indomitable Dotty assigned specific seating arrangements, designed, no doubt, to avoid more animosity between the two men.

Amanda knew exactly what ploy her mother was using. The Dorothea West prescription for any conflict was culinary diplomacy. If anything could enforce a temporary cease fire, it was her mother's generous gift of hospitality.

Despite Dotty's best intentions, a suffocating silence permeated the atmosphere, smothering any chance for civil conversation. For a moment, it looked like the self-appointed peacemaker was contemplating the stereo as an efficient tool to set a conciliatory mood. Sure enough, she flicked the switch, and soon the soothing strains of Pachelbel's "Canon in D" washed over the battle weary family.

"Too much," Amanda murmured between clinched teeth as she rolled her eyes at her mother, in the timeless tradition of daughter disapproval. Despite Dotty's attempt to soften the mood, one glance around the table proved it wasn't working. Even though everyone participated in the polite ritual of passing platters and serving bowls, the food remained practically untouched.

As Amanda fought to control her unshed tears, she chastised herself for not being more vocally supportive of her husband. A quick glance his way confirmed her fears. He looked terrible. His pale face was etched with pain, and his fingers shook so badly he could barely grasp his water goblet. Reaching across the table, she took his right hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Hang on, sweetheart," she whispered. "We'll get through this together."

Rewarded by his weak smile, she shot her ex-husband a silent plea to "mind your manners" and felt slightly relieved when he returned a faint nod of understanding. Lee was obviously worn to exhaustion by the talented lawyer's constant barrage of questions and accusations. Only her mother's firm reprimand, earlier in the evening, had ended the interrogation when she said, "Joe, you're out of order."

The sudden ringing of the front doorbell startled Amanda from her introspection. Lee was off his chair and into the hall before she could shake off the heavy burden of her thoughts. Dismissing the hopeful looks that flashed across the faces of her mother and ex-husband, Amanda sat frozen in place as her ears discerned the nature of the visitor's call.

"Sorry to intrude, Lee." Billy's voice was low, muffled by the press of other bodies in the doorway. Stepping aside, Mr. Melrose made way for his superior who pushed by him into the hallway with a haze of smoke defiling the air.

"Rally round the flag, boys and girls." The brusque voice of Dr. Austin Smyth led an entourage of intelligent operatives down the short steps into the family room. Under his silent command, they immediately stationed themselves at every exit from the house.

"What the hell is this?" Lee's neck bulged with the telltale sign that he was about to reach his breaking point of self-control. Responding to the brush of Amanda's hand on his back, he turned toward his wife and wrapped a protective arm around her waist. For the moment, she had rescued him from his certain confrontation with his nemesis.

"Please, Amanda, Lee, everyone, sit down." Billy motioned them to the sofa, politely beckoning for Dotty and Joe to join the group. "Let me remind you, Mrs. West, Mr. King; what is said tonight is confidential and remains in this room."

Amanda shuddered when her husband eased her body to the sofa, in tandem with his own. As he entwined their fingers tightly together, she felt Joe seat himself on her right side. Gracing him with a small smile of support, she willingly accepted his offered hand. Her eyes followed her mother's path as she walked in front of the group to claim the position next to Lee, delicately slipping her arm around his elbow. For better or for worse, they were family, held together by the common bond of their love for two young boys.

Billy spoke first, direct and to the point. "We've been contacted. It's the KGB. They want a trade."

Amanda's white knuckles arched as her fingers bit into Lee's thigh, effectively communicating the anguish of her understanding. The implication of Billy's message was crystal clear in her mind. She knew exactly who the Soviets wanted.

For a long moment, Amanda gazed at her husband as he sat stone-faced, silently contemplating the hand they'd been dealt. Without acknowledging the woman beside him, his hollow voice spoke the words that would dissolve their partnership forever. "The Soviets want me in the trade. I'll do it."

The impact of his words knocked the wind from Amanda, and she reeled against her husband's solid chest. "Oh, Lee, no." Next to her, she heard Joe let out a sigh of relief, and at the same instant she registered the sound of her mother's soft weeping. As hard as she tried, she couldn't quite wrap her mind around the possibility her boys would be returned to her arms only if Lee was forced from them. It was a test of love as old as the Bible; someone must lay down his life for another. Who would it be? Her children or her husband? A life for a life. Choose!

The respectful silence of the room's occupants was abruptly interrupted when Dr. Smyth stepped forward to cast his shadow over the grieving family. "Quid pro quo - if only it was that simple. Sorry, folks, no can do. As much as I'd like to send Scarecrow on a permanent assignment overseas, I can't sign the order. It seems the President and the National Security Council don't take fondly to the thought of losing our prize agent to the Soviets. We've schooled him with too many top secrets in his fifteen years of espionage, I want those boys nestled snug in their beds as much as the next guy, but, unfortunately, it won't happen with a pound of Stetson's flesh."

"Why, you . . . ." Lee was on his feet, his tight fist waving menacingly at the defiant face of the arrogant Washington intelligence insider.

Quickly, Billy nudged his bulk between the two opponents. "That's enough, Scarecrow." Before he could settle Lee down, Joe King jumped up with his own two cents worth of attorney intimidation.

"Look, here. I'm not going to stand by while you sacrifice my sons for national security. I'll take this all the way to the Supreme Court, if I have to." Poking a thumb in the director's chest, the distraught father quickly found himself in over his head.

With a snap of his fingers, Smyth flashed his order to close in. Instantly he was flanked by a cast of armed supporters, ready to use their Agency muscle to subdue Lee and Joe. "Look at this," glowered the old man. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee think they can take on their country. Cuff them, boys."

"Stop it, all of you." Amanda's anger propelled her from the sofa. "This isn't helping Phillip and Jamie." Keeping a safe distance, she stood her ground with the Agency boss.

After a long pause, Dr. Smyth relented. "Okay, kiddies, let's take a time out. You behave yourselves, and I won't keep you after school."

Watching Smyth's posse release her husband, Amanda made her move to intercede for her sons. "Sir, if you won't trade Lee for the boys, then what about me?"

Even Dr. Smyth looked shocked as a collective protest bombarded the living room. "No, Amanda." The mighty chorus of Lee, Dotty and Joe drowned out the rest of her plea.

Lee, was immediately at her side, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Whispering in her ear he tried to make her withdraw her offer. "No, Amanda, no. You don't know what you're saying. You can't begin to imagine what the Soviets would do . . . ." Cutting off his frightening words, he looked away from her questioning eyes, before trying again. "Amanda, the boys need you here, your mother needs you here, and I need you here. There has to be another solution."

"Have no fear, Scarecrow." Dr. Smyth held his cigarette over the end table, tapping the ashes into Dotty's favorite flower arrangement. "Little Miss Nice isn't going anywhere, either. Although, I am impressed, King. It didn't occur to me that you would want to be the sacrificial lamb in this fiasco. Your bad traits are rubbing off on your wife, Stetson. What is that childhood ditty? 'Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after'."

Lee grimaced at Smyth's idiotic poem. With gritted teeth, he addressed his superior. "Look, sir. Just let us check with our contacts. Maybe we can shake something loose."

"Sorry, folks, but we'll have to wait out the hostage crisis. What is that little children's rhyme? 'Little Bow Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them. Leave them alone and they'll come home, wagging their tails behind them.' Oh, ye of little faith."

"You hold it right there, mister, whoever you are." It was Dotty's turn to unload her frustration on the Agency director. Her bright manicured nails sliced the space in front of Dr. Smyth's face. "You barge in here like an invading army and run rough shod over this family like we're the enemy. Then you spout nursery rhymes like a deranged Mother Goose. I'm going to write a letter to the President and let him know that he has an arrested adolescent handling our nation's top secrets." She didn't flinch as she exchanged an enraged glare with the head honcho of Agency intelligence.

Easing himself into position, Billy gently laid his hand on Dotty's trembling arm. "Mrs. West, please, sit down. We all need to catch our breath for a moment."

Lee and Amanda moved forward, each putting an arm around Dotty, carefully pulling her away from the fuming Dr. Smyth. Backing up to the sofa, they sat down with her securely sandwiched between them.

The Agency director didn't blink as he once again took charge. "You want plain English, folks? Well, see how you like this. The next person to test my resolve will be shackled in irons in an Agency holding cell. What's more, you're under house arrest, until I give the all clear. I suspect there isn't one of you who wouldn't commit treason to get those boys back. It's out of your control, Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Don't try to step on my toes."

Snapping his fingers, Smyth threw out one more cautionary measure. "Just to make sure I've made true believers out of everyone, I'll dangle a D-1 manhunt in front of the Stetsons. Should either one or both of them decide to take matters into their own hands, there will be a shoot-to-kill order waiting for them. I'll even dress it up with signed pardons by the president for whoever can bring them down. I trust I've made myself perfectly clear."

Turning to Billy, Smyth gave his ultimatum. "Melrose, I'll have you drawn and quartered if there are any slip-ups. Ta, Ta, all." Without a backward glance, Dr. Smyth sauntered from the house, puffs of smoke trailing in his wake.

******End of Flashback******

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

**Washington. D.C. - September 24, 1991**

After settling Phillip and Jamie into their dormitory and meeting with their headmaster, Amanda was anxious to complete her long trek to the Outer Banks. It was already bumper to bumper traffic when she merged onto I-95.

Her lack of sleep, coupled with the emotionally draining night, robbed Amanda of the vitality she needed for the extended time she'd be behind the wheel. Trying to jolt herself into wakefulness, she took a few sips of coffee and increased the volume of her classical music cassette.

Unfortunately, last evening's weather forecast for a warm sunny day wasn't coming true. By the time Amanda passed the Fredericksburg exit, fat raindrops pelted the Honda's windows. Then, within minutes, the clouds opened up with a deluge, making the congested roadway very treacherous.

Despite her best efforts, the hypnotic effect of the windshield wipers returned her focus to last night's phone conversation. With a continuous loop, the familiar sensual voice relentlessly played in her head. Was it just wishful thinking on her part, or could there be one small kernel of hope that her missing husband was neither lost or dead?

Once again, the old memories beckoned to her, pulling her into the past. The car seemed to move on autopilot, and the monotonous countryside flew by unnoticed as her thoughts revisited her final night with Lee Stetson.

* * *

><p><strong>******Flashback****** September 23, 1987 - 12:30 a.m. Maplewood Drive<strong>

The hush of the dark house did little to lull Amanda to sleep. Her body couldn't rest while her frantic mind wrestled with the unseen powers of the universe. Somehow she had to hold on until, by the grace of God or the mercy of mankind, her children returned to the safety of their family.

She knew Lee was awake, too, although he did his best to convince her otherwise. With his face turned toward the wall, he pretended to be asleep. She hoped the privacy of their bedroom would afford them the opportunity to talk honestly about their options and fears, but instead her husband chose to shut her out. His earlier raw emotions of guilt and grief were now carefully hidden behind a protective shield of silence.

Lee's charade certainly wasn't fooling Amanda. She could imagine the synapses of his brain sparking a creative process that would result in his next plan of action. Rolling onto her side, she secured herself against the solid expanse of his back. Then with gentle strokes, she ran her fingers through his damp locks of hair, still wet from the shower.

The caressing motion allowed a fleeting sense of normalcy as she contemplated his need for a haircut. The daily mundane tasks of personal grooming, buying groceries, and doing laundry seemed like sacred gifts when compared to the life and death situation that now consumed their very existence.

Receiving no response from her husband's stiffened form, Amanda slowly rolled to her back and released a soft, painful sigh. It must have struck a chord, because suddenly the unmoving mass beside her came to life. As he turned over, Lee's long limbs snaked around her frame, and his tender lips trailed across her face and down her neck. Feeling the moisture of tears on his cheeks, she pulled him closer, responding in kind to the needed comfort.

Holding Amanda in a tight embrace, Lee finally spoke. "I have a plan. I'm leaving tonight."

"What do you mean, you're leaving tonight?" Amanda pulled away from his arms and pushed herself up on her elbow. "There are four federal agents prepared to shoot you if you try to leave the house."

"I know that, Amanda, but I have to try."

"Then I'm going with you!"

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am. I always watch your back."

"Amanda, just stop!"

"No, Lee, you stop." Realizing she was yelling, she paused to lower her voice. "I know exactly what you want to do," she whispered. "You're going to trade yourself to the Russians, and we'll never see each other again."

Lee sighed heavily and turned his face toward the moonlight that streamed through the window. "Don't you see, Amanda? You can't have it both ways. Either I stay here, and the boys may never return, or I offer myself to set them free."

"But, Lee, that's unpardonable treason! Even if the Soviets don't kill you, you could never come home again." Amanda slid her hand across his cheek and coaxed him to return her gaze. Cradling his head against her breast, she watched the moonlight cast an ethereal glow over his somber features. In her heart, she knew he had no other choice. Someone needed to be the savior. "Sweetheart, I can't bear to give you up."

Lee's melancholy eyes studied her sad countenance, and his hand reached to wipe an errant tear that dropped like a delicate raindrop upon his face. Clearing his throat, he spoke in a gravelly voice, rough with unspeakable pain. "I don't want to give you up, either."

Amanda's chest heaved with inaudible sobs as she struggled to contain her emotions. Stroking her fingers through the smooth strands of her husband's hair, she tried to prevent the sacrifice that loomed before them. "Lee, there has to be another solution. If you offer yourself to the Soviets, they still may not release the boys. Then I've lost all of you."

"This isn't open to debate, Amanda!" Lee clasped her hand in his, interrupting the tender caress of her touch. "Please, try to understand; I have to make an attempt. I can't live with myself if I don't try. Phillip and Jamie are counting on me to come for them. I can't let them down."

An involuntarily shudder passed through her body. Amanda knew the odds were against them. There would be no "win-win" situation. Someone, and possibly all of them, would be the loser. "Sweetheart, promise me you'll do everything in your power to come back to us."

Lee untangled their limbs and maneuvered his weary body to the floor. Pacing beside their bed, he pivoted on his bare feet, thrusting his arms outward in wild desperation. Raw anguish gripped his voice as he choked out his ultimate decision. "Amanda, it's over. We gambled on our dreams and we lost. Both of us knew it could come down to this, but we were hell bent to get married anyway."

"Please, Lee, don't . . . ." Amanda felt physically punched by the force of her husband's fateful words. Trying to catch her breath and calm the erratic beating of her heart, she stared at him with pleading eyes, hoping against hope for a last minute reprieve from the death sentence of their union.

His statuesque figure was haunted by the aura of profound sorrow that pervaded the room. Nevertheless, he soldiered on with steely determination, cutting loose with more bitter words. "Amanda, we were wrong from the get-go. Mixing marriage and children with espionage was a lethal combination. We doomed our family from the start."

"Stop it, Lee. Stop trying to push me away." Amanda's wounded feelings quickly escalated into anger. "I can't sit here and allow you to stomp all over the integrity of our relationship. I believed in us long before you did, and I'll always believe in us." Sliding off the far side of the bed, she grabbed her robe and fled to the dormer window, casting a shattered look in his direction.

Lee stood sentry on the other side of the room, gazing out on the quiet neighborhood. Without looking up, he softly addressed his wife. "Joe gave me something else to think about tonight. Even if the boys miraculously walked in the front door this minute, I'm out of your lives. Your ex-husband advised me, in no uncertain terms, that I'm not to have any contact with Phillip and Jamie, ever again. He also has given me an ultimatum about our marriage. If we stay together, he'll take you to court for full custody of the boys."

Amanda whirled around to face her husband. "Oh, no, Lee. Joe didn't mean that." She took a step toward him, but stopped abruptly when his hand jerked up to wave her away.

"The hell he didn't. He meant every word, and he is perfectly within his rights . I'm poison to this family. He knows it, and you know it, too. I just hope to God I can give you back your sons. Compared to bringing the boys home, nothing else is worth one damn."

Amanda felt frozen in place as she absorbed the truth in Lee's words. Their marriage was irrevocably doomed. Their careers were over. What did it matter if they lived or died? The only thing that counted was saving Phillip and Jamie. Feeling a stab of pain rip through her heart, she turned her back on her beloved husband.

A deadly silence filled the chasm between them. Each one kept a solitary vigil, staring with vacant eyes out separate windows. As the minutes ticked by, night noises slowly filtered into consciousness. The mournful whistle of a distant train sounded the sad warning of the aching loneliness to come. Down the street, the Ferguson's scruffy mongrel, feeling abandoned in his dog house, howled his displeasure, and Mrs. Gilstrap's cats fought over some coveted prey in the neighbor's driveway. Only the rhythmic chorus of tree toads and crickets provided a comforting reminder of the harmony and peace that still existed in nature.

Gradually the noises of the sleeping household intruded into consciousness. Down the hall, a door creaked on its hinges, and soft footsteps padded toward the bathroom. Muffled snores from the boys' bedroom announced that Joe was managing to sleep through the end of civilization as they knew it.

Finally, Amanda spoke. "When do you leave?" An interminable moment passed before she heard Lee push away from the window. The only response she got was the rustle of clothing as he pulled items from the closet. Turning slowly, she watched his shadowy form move about the room. In his methodical ritual, he prepared for his final assignment, as if it was just one more Agency case.

Setting a shirt and jeans on the dresser, Lee opened the drawer to fish out clean underwear and socks. Yanking on his boxers, he paused before taking a few tentative steps toward his wife. "I'll have to wait awhile. I'm sure our argument put the Agency babysitters on full alert."

Amanda hesitantly caught his eye as a glare of car headlights cast garish shadows on the walls of their bedroom. "What does one pack when preparing to commit treason?"

"Only the clothes on my back, and my Agency I.D.," he muttered, almost to himself. Silently, Lee crossed the room and stood in front of his wife, his quick breaths betraying his anxiety. Reaching out his arms, he tested the waters by placing his hands on her waist. When she didn't offer any resistance, he gently pulled her to his chest, sighing with relief when she melted into his embrace.

Burrowing his face in her chestnut curls, he seemed to memorize the scent and feel of her body. "I'm sorry, Amanda," he finally whispered. "Nothing in this world can ever change how much I love you."

Pressing her fingers into his hot flesh, she sought to brand her imprint on his soul. "Lee, I'm never giving up on us. Somewhere in this vast universe we'll find each other again."

Guiding her back to bed, he slipped the robe from her body and let it drop to the floor. "Please, Amanda, just lay down with me. I want to make love to you and have you fall asleep in my arms, one last time."

Swallowing the words that would entreat him to stay, Amanda silently consented to her husband's coaxing. She may not be promised his tomorrows, but the present was hers to claim. There would be no long good-bye, nor a gradual letting go. In the blink of an eye he'd be gone, bound by his personal oath of service. Even though the call of duty possessed him, in this minuscule space of time, he did not belong to country and career, nor to family and friends. In this one fleeting moment, he belonged only to her.

In the glow of the moonlight, Lee watched her closely. Then easing their bodies to the bed, he tucked her securely against his side. His hand trembled slightly as he brushed long fingers through her soft locks of hair and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead. The hush of the stillness was broken only by a muted, mournful moan that emanated from deep within his chest.

Amanda cocooned herself against her husband's long, muscular body that enveloped her delicate frame with a gentleness that belied his strength. Enfolding him with a passionate embrace, she let her hands and lips play the silent melody of love's caress, until her touch made him quiver in her arms.

Soon all thoughts took flight and they abandoned their fears. Entering the hallowed realm of unbridled passion, they gave themselves up to the comfort only their bodies could communicate. In a few moments of sweet surrender, they gifted each other with a blissful reprieve from the crushing sorrow that invaded the sanctity of their love.

All too soon their welcomed escape was over, and the cold reality of imminent separation chilled their souls. Wordlessly they clung to each other, surrounded by an effusion of deep sadness.

Even in grief, they were eternally grateful for the few joyous months of marriage they had shared together. In spite of it's brevity, they had been crowned by love's glory, even as they were crucified by love's pain.

******End of Flashback.******

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: **

**September 24, 1991 - Ocean Watch Retreat.**

Matt awoke in a sweat, overwhelmed by his troubled dreams and inner turmoil. Slowing his labored breathing, he listened to the sounds of the pouring rain and howling wind that rattled the window panes. With a quick glance at the bedside clock, he realized he'd been sleeping for seven hours. Damn it, the gray dawn was already peering through the curtains. He needed to hit the road before his son woke up and begged him to stay.

Turning his gaze toward Billy, Matt contemplated his sleeping child. The boy was sprawled on his back, clutching his cherished Eeyore and ragged blanket to his chest. Apparently a restless sleeper, he'd kicked the covers away, and they were now a tangled heap at the bottom of the bed.

Even in sleep, the tyke held fast to his newly discovered father. Somehow, the little guy managed to keep a tight grip on his shirt sleeve, while one bare foot rested securely on his knee. Billy's message was clear. He didn't want his daddy going anywhere.

What a terrific kid! How could he just walk out of his life? Matt touched his fingers to the boy's face and stroked the soft cheek, reminding himself that he ultimately must do what was best for his family. If he stayed, he might someday cause this little guy to suffer at the hands of his enemies. No! Lee and Amanda Stetson learned their lesson the hard way. Espionage and children were a lethal combination. How could he possibly dream of endangering his children again? Although his career had crashed and burned, Scarecrow's enemies were still his enemies.

Resigning himself to his choice, Matt pondered his fate. He didn't have any idea where he'd go next; maybe he should try Texas or California or Alaska. Hell, maybe he should join some foreign legion, or police poachers in Africa, or volunteer for an expedition to Antarctica. Whatever he ended up doing, it better be a serious menace to his very existence. The threat of danger, pain, and death would be a hell of a lot better than the awful agony of love he was feeling now.

A sudden flash of lightning and a loud clap of thunder startled them both, frightening Billy into partial wakefulness. "Daddy," he called out in fear.

"Easy pal, it's okay." Matt gently patted the child's chest. Then pulling the sheet over the little body, he smoothed down the unruly hair and rose to go.

"Daddy, stay." Billy's voice was filled with alarm. Two little eyes blinked sleepily as the boy struggled to a sitting position. Reaching out his arms, he begged to be picked up.

Matt gathered Billy into a protective embrace and began to pace the small room with his son's head nestled securely on his shoulder. It couldn't get much harder than this. The moment reminded him of the night he'd willed his body to let go of Amanda and walk away from their marriage. "Billy," he soothed. "No matter what happens, I want you to remember that Daddy loves you."

"I love you, too, Daddy," the child whispered back as his soft yawn tickled the skin of his father's neck. Snuggling in closer, Billy's body relaxed against the steady heartbeat in the powerful frame.

"Now, take it easy, partner. You need to lie back down." Stretching the boy out on his stomach, Matt rubbed his small back with slowly widening circles, until sleep reclaimed him. Placing a feather light kiss on Billy's neck, he breathed in the soapy scent of his child and slowly pushed himself from the bed. "Goodbye, son," he whispered in a voice choked with painful yearning.

Tiptoeing from the room, Matt looked back one last time. Then sighing with regret, he made his way from the room, down the stairs, and out into the cold wet morning.

Driving through the empty streets, Matt bid a silent farewell to the beach community that he'd called home for two years. God, as incredible as it seemed, he and Amanda may have just missed each other on more than one occasion. "So close, yet so far away," he said with sadness. Even now, after all these years, Scarecrow and Mrs. King still suffered from the curse of bad timing.

At least they did until last night. When he picked up the phone and heard his wife speaking, he wasted a golden opportunity to bridge their divide. The sound of Amanda's voice definitely tested his resolve, and it took a Herculean effort to beat back his deep longing. With the best of intentions, he resisted the temptation for the sake of family safety, but sadly he condemned himself to more miserable years as a lone wolf?

If by some miracle, Amanda suddenly appeared in person, Matt knew he'd never find the strength to turn her away. One glimpse of her slender frame and he'd stop in his tracks. One sweet smile on her dear face, and he'd drop to his knees. One touch of her hand, and he'd implore her to stay - for just one minute, or one hour, or one day.

Matt pounded the steering wheel with his fist, trying to crush the visions of his beloved wife. With steely determination, he focused on his driving. Pressing the gas pedal to the floor, he sped into the morning fog, in hopes he could outrun the memories of his past. Numb to the core, he drove through rivers of water on North Carolina's rain drenched highways. He had no plan, except to "high-tail it out of Dodge," and head west. More specific plans would have to gel as he made his escape.

But the farther he went, the more the weather deteriorated. As torrential rain pelted the windshield of his SUV, he began to realize his folly. In order to save Billy from his legion of foes, he was abandoning him to nature's wrath. My God, a major storm was headed for the coastline, and his little boy was housed in an Ocean-front beach house on a barrier island, with only Maude to protect him.

"Hell!" As usual, the old Stetson stubbornness was the bane of his existence. Driven by his singular focus, he'd dismissed the rainy weather forecasts as a mere nuisance. However, two hours into his trip, he was forced to admit that both he and the weather service had underestimated the dire threat. All the elements were now in place for a monster storm.

Searching for a turn off, Matt's impatience got the better of him. With a sharp pull of the wheel, he steered the heavy vehicle off the westbound lane, and lumbered over the median to head east.

Setting his course toward the Outer Banks, Matt faced his troubled memories head-on. If he was going back to his tiny son, he needed to make his peace with the fateful event that sent him into exile. Once more, he opened the gates to yesterday and saw himself traveling down the road of perdition to make a deal with the devil.

* * *

><p><strong>****Flashback**** – September 23, 1987 - Virginia Countryside<strong>

"Whoa, boy." Lee spoke softly to his skittish horse as he nervously yanked on the reins. Having already mounted the black stallion, he didn't want to blow his cover until the signal was given.

The dual groves of trees at the Loudon County riding stables provided the perfect set-up for the hostage exchange. Just beyond the shelter of the leafy foliage, a wide green pasture offered a generous open area for the switch to occur. Somewhere on the other side, the KGB lay in wait, hidden by the trees, but carefully preparing for the imminent trade.

Glancing at his only support, Lee gave T.P. Aquinas the thumbs up. The little man's face was intense with concentration as he valiantly braced a rifle against his shoulder. While not a trained agent, the faithful volunteer was ready to be the visible backup for the American agent. Clearly, T.P. would march into hell for him. Lee could only hope to God his friend would come out of this evening unscathed.

Somewhere off to his left, Francine Desmond crouched behind the hilly rocks, ready to make her move as soon as the King boys were safe. When Lee had contacted her, hours earlier, she'd tried to talk him out of the plan. In typical Scarecrow fashion, Stetson insisted he'd make the trade, with or without her help.

Francine knew, full well, that she was putting her career and life at risk, but she'd refused to sit this one out when so much was at stake. Somehow she understood, as no one else could, what had to be done. With tears in her eyes, she'd hugged Lee tightly and promised she wouldn't let him down.

The sun had already begun to set behind the rolling hills of the Virginia countryside. Soon the dark shadows of the evening gloaming would penetrate the soft red and purple hues of the fading daylight.

Despite the cool evening, Lee's body was awash in perspiration. His nervous fingers raked through his damp hair and then took a swipe at the sweat along his brow. Muttering out loud, he recited a quiet plea. "Come on, come on, guys. Where are you?"

Suddenly, he saw them. From across the field, a bright light flashed on, and two horses appeared at the edge of the woods. T.P. quickly moved to activate his spotlight, illuminating the lone equestrian as he advanced into position. With one last look over his shoulder, Lee nodded a solemn, final farewell to his loyal friend.

With rifles aimed from both sides, the riders simultaneously nudged their mounts forward, slowly and carefully plodding toward the center of the field. Relief coursed through Lee's frame when he recognized his boys. Phillip looked small but poised as he confidently rode his chestnut mare. Getting a late start behind his brother, a timid Jamie slouched in the saddle of his docile, dapple-gray horse.

As the three horsemen approached each other in mid-field, Lee could hear Jamie's muffled crying. "It's okay, boys," he called out. "Keep coming, slowly. You can do this."

Phillip turned his head to glare at his brother. "Be quiet. You're going to get us killed."

"Ssssh, take it easy, guys. Just take it nice and easy. You're doing great." Lee continued to encourage the boys with his light chatter, while he carefully maneuvered his stallion to the right of the converging horses. "Keep moving toward the other side, fellas. That's it, nice and easy. I'm so proud of you."

When he was parallel to Phillip's horse, he could see the raw fear in his stepson's eyes. Reaching out a hand, he lightly brushed the boy's knee. "You okay, chief?"

"Yeah, I guess." The catch in the teen's high pitched voice betrayed his false bravado. "But, what's going to happen to you?"

"Don't worry about me, Phillip. Just concentrate on leading your brother safely to the other side of the field."

Continuing to nudge his horse forward, he was now in range to see the utter terror on the younger boy's face. "Hang on, sport. You're going to be all right."

"Lee-ee." Jamie's small voice whispered his plea like a prayer. Just when their horses began to pass each other, the twelve year old panicked and grabbed for his stepfather. He was ready to lunge into Lee's arms when angry shouts echoed through the valley from the Soviet operatives.

Reaching out to grip the boy's thin shoulders, Lee gently pushed him upright on his horse and admonished him firmly. "Jamie, it's going to be okay, but you must keep going." Giving the child's arm a reassuring squeeze, Lee pulled back and maneuvered his steed through the bottleneck. With one final glance at his stepsons, he called out to them, "I love you, guys."

Timing was the crucial concern, so Lee reined in his feisty stallion and slowed his momentum to a minimal pace. He needed to make certain the boys reached their destination before he did, so T.P. could usher them to safety.

As he neared the heavily armed Soviet agents, he braced himself for the critical moment. Images of his wife flashed through his mind, and he began to recite a silent mantra of farewell to the woman he loved more than life. Suddenly, several shots rang out from the distant hillside. Each one, fired with expert precision, slammed into his body, knocking him from his horse and rendering him helpless on the cold, hard ground.

*******End flashback******

* * *

><p>To Be Continued<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**Mid-afternoon - September 24, 1991 - Richmond, VA - Along the I-95.**

Turning onto I-64 from I-95, Amanda frowned at the heavy rain beating against her windshield. The Weather Channel's optimistic prediction of a few passing showers for the Virginia beaches and the North Carolina Outer Banks was giving way to something more ominous. The further south she drove, the worse the weather got.

Ejecting the cassette from the tape player, she tuned in the radio to try to catch the latest forecast. To her astonishment, the announcer was directing travelers to the Emergency Broadcast System for weather alerts along the eastern seaboard.

Listening to the radio announcer, Amanda braced herself for bad news. "Tropical Storm Alfredo took an unexpected turn this morning. It is now blowing inland in a northeast path from the Gulf coast, bringing 65 mile per hour winds and heavy rain to the southeastern states. Combining with the low pressure system of stalled thunderstorms along the Carolinas, the weather system threatens the low-lying coastal region and barrier islands with heavy rainfall of six to ten inches. People residing in these areas face torrential rain, flooding, high winds and possible tornadoes. Evacuation is recommended and could change to mandatory at any time. Stay tune for further updates."

Shocked by the report, Amanda kept a careful watch for the next community where she might find a pay phone to call Maude. The death grip she held on the steering wheel made it impossible to drive and think at the same time. Just as she exhaled a calming breath, the dread of every driver became a reality.

Reacting to the sudden red glare of taillights, she touched the brake, only to feel the slippage of the Honda's tires on the road surface. She was helpless as the car skidded sideways, hydroplaning across two lanes of traffic and barely missing a tractor trailer loaded with logs. Sailing erratically over the standing water, the out-of-control vehicle finally jolted to a stop in the middle of the grassy median.

Trembling with alarm, she reminded herself to breathe as she opened her eyes to the conclusion of her wild ride. A tapping on the driver's side window alerted her to help.

"Are you okay, lady?" The broad shoulders on the logger's body were a testimony to the sizable assistance that had arrived.

"Ah, I'm fine, I think. Thank God, I didn't hit anyone." Amanda offered him a feeble smile as she fought to bring her frazzled emotions under control.

"Just hang on, ma'am, and I'll see about getting you back on the road." The strapping, six footer gave her car a mighty push, but with spinning tires, the vehicle only dug itself deeper into the soggy ground.

"I guess we need to call for a tow truck. Don't worry, lady. Your car looks okay. You sit tight until help arrives."

Sighing in frustration, Amanda settled her seat in the reclining position, hoping the break from driving would ease her headache. Closing her eyes, she soon found herself pulled back into time by more unsettling memories.

* * *

><p><strong>*****Flashback***** <strong> **September 24 1987, Maplewood Drive**

Amanda paced the perimeter of the family room with her arms folded tightly against her body. It had been almost thirty hours since Lee left their bed, with nothing more than a brush of his lips through her hair as she lay snuggled in his arms. She'd barely been awake when she felt his warmth leave her side. By the time she rolled over and called his name, he was gone. No one else had noted his departure, but there had been all hell to pay when the security team found him missing at daybreak.

The banging of several car doors startled Amanda from her worries. Something was happening, right outside the house. Peering through the sheer curtains of her living room windows, she saw a half-dozen suited agents exiting the standard, motor pool vehicles. In seconds they surrounded the large black limousine that pulled into the driveway.

Joined by her mother and Joe, the trio watched with bated breath as the doors were pulled open. Billy Melrose exited first, keeping his eyes turned toward the inside of the vehicle, waiting for someone to appear from the shadows.

"It's them," Joe shouted. "It's Phillip and Jamie." The family heaved a collective sigh of relief as the blue jean-clad legs of first one son and then the other pushed themselves from the limo. Looking tired and forlorn, the boys politely allowed themselves to be escorted toward the front door.

Resting her head against the cool pane of glass, Amanda said a silent prayer of thanks for the return of her sons, but she added a petition that her husband might still exit the large limo, too. Opening her eyes, she saw Agent Duffy forcefully close the door of the limousine. There was certainly no Lee Stetson present and accounted for in this successful recovery.

Hearing joyous shouts as the boys were greeted by their father and grandmother, Amanda swallowed her personal pain and hurried to receive her sons into her aching arms. Catching their eyes, she saw them release themselves from their dad and run like lost little boys into her familiar embrace.

"Mom, Mom," they cried, not embarrassed by the tears of relief that streak their young faces.

Amanda held them tightly against her slender frame, breathing in the scent of their hair and necks. Rocking them in a triple embrace, she listened as they choked out their anguished words. Pulling back a little, she whispered to the boys. "Tell me, guys, one at a time."

"Mom," Jamie said, finally managing to make himself heard. "Lee saved us."

Phillip nodded in agreement. "He switched himself for us, but we think he's gone. Mom, Lee didn't make it back."

Shaking her head in sadness, Amanda held them closer as the three clung to each other in wordless sorrow. For a few brief moments, their silent tears paid tribute to the man who sacrificed himself to save his family.

"Uh-hum." Billy Melrose made his presence known from the doorway. "Excuse me, Amanda, but we need to talk in private."

Beckoning to her mother to take the boys, Amanda silently offered her boss a chair, while she closed the double doors to the living room. Seating herself on the edge of the sofa cushion, she waited with trepidation to learn the fate of her husband.

Billy ran his finger over the brim of his hat, as if searching for the right words to say. "I'm sorry, Amanda, but as you have certainly observed, Lee didn't return."

"Sir, I've been left totally in the dark about my husband for almost a day and half. Where did he go? How did he get the boys released? Where do you think he is? Is anyone trying to help him?" Amanda searched Billy's face for any shred of evidence. "I'm his wife and partner. I believe I have a need to know."

The agency supervisor lowered his gaze to the floor, nodding his understanding. "Amanda, please, if it were up to me I'd give you total access to all intelligence. Unfortunately, Dr. Smyth has thrown a blanket over the entire case. He even took me out of the loop."

Amanda's whole body trembled with fear and frustration. It was just the scenario she had envisioned. Lee had warned her, before their marriage, that someday one of them might fail to come home for dinner, and the other one would be left trying to figure out what had happened. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. "Mr. Melrose, just exactly what can you tell me?"

Billy's dark eyes glistened with his own private pain. The last couple of days had obviously taken a heavy toll on him, too. Taking a breath, he finally met her gaze with a look of profound sorrow. "I wish I had more to give you, Amanda. It's inexcusable, but Dr. Smyth won't let me know Lee's final fate, either."

"Sir, please." Amanda leaned forward and reached to touch his arm. "You must have something you can share with me."

The field supervisor was silent for a long moment. Sighing heavily, he spoke quietly. "Amanda, I wasn't a part of whatever went down. I gather Scarecrow managed to work out an exchange with the Soviets, and he recruited T.P. Aquinas to help him. Obviously, Lee was successful in obtaining release of the boys. Aquinas delivered them to the Agency just after dawn."

"Then T.P. must know what happened to Lee."

"He doesn't, Amanda. He's been debriefed and even took a polygraph test. His involvement didn't go beyond covering Lee's back and escorting Phillip and Jamie to safety. Since T.P. isn't officially associated with the Agency, there are no charges being brought against him. And now that Lee has resigned . . ."

"Lee resigned?"

"Yes, I found his handwritten resignation on my desk, dated September 23rd. I don't know how he got it passed the guards, unless Francine put it there for him. Whatever, she denies it."

"Then, Lee hoped to walk away after the trade. He must still be out there, somewhere."

Billy hesitated, clearly reluctant to say more. Leaning forward, he took Amanda's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before continuing. "Maybe not, Amanda. After the boys made it to safety, gunfire was heard."

"You think, Lee was shot . . . .?" She closed her eyes at the vision of her husband riding into an ambush.

"I don't know, Amanda. Scarecrow may have been shot or may have done the shooting. Whatever happened, the bottom line is clear. Lee's gone, and I don't know if he's dead or alive. Dr. Smyth unofficially labeled him a traitor and sealed his file."

Amanda felt her whole body sag under the weight of despair. Teetering on the precipice of hopelessness, she wiped at the tears that escaped under their own volition. The nightmare showed no signs of ending. All her questions about her husband could go unanswered indefinitely. In truth, Lee may never be coming home again.

Billy eased himself from the chair and quietly moved to the sofa to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Amanda, I promise, if there is any hint of Lee's whereabouts, I will let you know."

"Thank you, sir." Summoning all her courage, Amanda rose to her feet and, with majestic grief, prepared to face her family and the future.

******End of Flashback******

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: **

**September 24, 1991, Route 64 - Williamsburg, VA - 5:30 p.m.**

The little Honda seemed none the worse for wear after being pulled to the roadway by the tow truck. Still a bit unnerved by the whole episode, Amanda watched for the best place to stop and call Maude and then regroup for the rest of her journey.

Finally pulling into a visitor center near Williamsburg, she emerged from the car into the pouring rain. Dashing through the deluge, with only a light jacket for protection, she made a beeline toward the information building. Under the circumstances, the whole area was practically deserted. Pausing to stomp her shoes on the welcome mat, Amanda shook the excess water from her hair and approached the lone attendant.

"Hello," she said, straightening her shoulders. "I probably look like I was just pulled from the James River."

The bespectacled young man seemed startled by her appearance. "Ma'am, are you okay?" he asked, with an air of authority. "You really shouldn't be traveling in this weather. Let me suggest a motel where you can seek shelter for the night."

"No . . . no, thank you. I need to keep going for now." Amanda felt scolded by the unsolicited advice of someone barely older than Phillip. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she crossed her arms and hugged her torso, trying to keep warm. "I need to make a phone call," she said, looking around for a bank of pay phones.

"Here, ma'am," he said pleasantly, setting a phone within her reach. "Let me help you place a call."

"Thank you." Amanda reached for the telephone and dialed Maude's number. Letting it ring eight times, she realized no one was going to answer. She could only hope they had evacuated to a safe area. "What now," she wondered aloud. Then, turning again to the attendant, a new plan took shape. "Would you help me contact North Carolina's Outer Banks Beach Security?"

"Certainly, ma'am."

She realized it was a shot in the dark, but she had a nagging feeling the Assistant Chief of Security might be just the person she needed.

"Here you go, ma'am. I've dialed the number." The polite young man eyed her with concern as she took the receiver.

Trying to ignore her mounting worry and fatigue, Amanda leaned heavily on the information desk, waiting for someone to answer her call.

On the fifth ring, she was greeted with the thick southern drawl of an amicable male voice. "Security, here."

"Hello, my name is Ann West. I'd like to speak to Mr. Hamilton, please." Amanda nervously drummed her fingers on her purse while she waited for the dispatcher to respond.

"Hamilton, you say? You mean Matt?"

"Yes, I'm calling Matthew Hamilton." She could hear loud crunching noises emanating from the receiver, giving every indication the man was elbow deep in a bag of potato chips. The reminder of food made her realize she hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Matthew is no longer available. He left the island, and I don't know when or if he's coming back."

Feeling disappointment wash over her, she quickly recovered. "Please, I need information about the owner of the Ocean Watch Retreat? Mrs. Mayfield has been caring for my three year old son. I can't reach her by phone, and I need to make sure they're both okay."

"You mean Maude Mayfield and the cute kid she watches?"

"Yes, Maude and Billy West. I don't know if they have been evacuated."

"Ma'am, we'll try to track them down . It may take awhile, because we're really short-handed. Our switchboard is lit up like a Christmas tree."

"What about getting onto the island? Is the bridge closed to incoming traffic?"

"Well, not yet, but that could change at any moment. We have one monster storm bearing down on us. You would do better to stay away."

"As long as the roads are open, I want to try to get there tonight. Thank you for your help. I'll check back with you later."

Giving into her stomach's distress signals, Amanda headed for the vending machines. Even though she hated the idea, a candy bar and a bag of corn chips might be her only option for dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

**Outer Banks: September 24, 9:00 p.m.**

Amanda crossed the Wright Memorial Bridge at Kitty Hawk, barely able to follow the center line on the slick roadway. After several more calls to the Outer Banks Beach Security, there was still no word on Maude and Billy. However, she was grateful the bridge was still open, and no one tried to stop her vehicle.

Without the illumination of street lights, the pitch blackness made the flooded streets even more unsafe. Unable to see the depth of water and the debris in the roadway, she could only hope the Honda would make it safely to Maude's beach house.

Pulling into the Ocean Watch Retreat parking lot, she felt her anxiety mount. The Mayfield car was nowhere in sight, and there was no sign of neighboring vehicles. Even though Maude and Billy probably weren't there, she felt compelled to check anyway.

Bracing herself against the pelting rain, she bent into the wind and carefully picked her way through the tempest tossed ruins of Maude's property. Flashes of lightning revealed surprising damage to the stately louver shutters, now knocked from their hinges. All around the yard, weathered cedar shingles lay scattered in the sand, and the boards from the wide deck protruded from the dunes.

Finding a key under the flower pot, Amanda opened the back door and tried the light switch as she crossed the threshold to the kitchen. Confirming that Maude's place was affected by the power outage, she fumbled with several drawers until she found a flashlight. "Maude, Billy," she called loudly, doubting that anyone would answer her. "Hello, is anyone here?"

She carefully made her way toward the stairs and called out again. "Maude, Billy, are you here?"

Seeing the glare of headlights casting fleeting shadows on the living room wall, Amanda hurried over to the bay window. Unable to make out a large vehicle pulling in beyond her line of sight, she unbolted the latch and cranked out the window to get a better look. Just as she was about to abandon her foolish effort, a powerful gust of wind caught the panel of glass and slammed it into her forehead. Immediately stunned by the impact, she managed to take a few staggering steps before collapsing into darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>SMK-SMK-SMK<strong>

**Ocean Watch Retreat - 10:00 p.m.**

A warm haze of contentment surrounded Amanda as she pushed toward the surface of consciousness. She didn't know where she was, but without a doubt, she was safe. Opening her eyes, she blinked at the thick darkness and felt a momentary panic that her eyesight was failing. Giving herself a moment to adjust, she remembered the storm had knocked out the power, before a crashing window had knocked her to the floor.

Relaxing into the pillow top of a plush mattress, Amanda knew she was in bed. Amazingly, she found herself tucked in the gentle folds of a Down comforter. Gone were her wet jacket, silk blouse and linen skirt, as well as her soaked shoes and stockings. Moving her hand along her body, she recognized the lace edging of her satin slip. Whoever the Good Samaritan turned out to be, she was grateful for the genuine effort to make her comfortable. Even so, it was a little disconcerting to realize she'd been carried upstairs and partially undressed by a stranger.

As she emerged from her confused state, the physical pain from her fall competed for attention. The stinging brush burn on her cheek testified to the forceful contact she'd made with Maude's oriental carpet. Gingerly touching the throbbing area on her forehead, she traced a small, neat bandage that covered the wound.

Still uncertain of her surroundings, Amanda focused her mind on the auditory clues around her. Immediately, she recognized the pounding surf, louder and more ferocious than usual. Obviously the wild storm still raged outside.

At least the room seemed safe from the elements. Listening for more telltale sounds, she recognized the distinct chimes of Maude's hallway school house clock, announcing the tenth hour. Apparently she'd been unconscious for about an hour.

Lying perfectly still, she strained to hear any indication of another human presence. Surely her rescuer didn't abandon her. Above the turbulent noise of the storm, she thought she could make out movement on the floor below. A repeated banging noise led her to believe someone was using a hammer. Possibly repairs were being made to the broken window.

Feeling a rush of doubt, Amanda debated how trusting she should be of her unknown protector. Given her state of undress and physical vulnerability, she wanted to exercise prudence in making contact. Deciding to assess her stamina, she eased herself to the floor. Confident of her endurance, she located the lightweight quilt at the bottom of the bed and wrapped it tightly around her shoulders. Guiding herself along the furniture, she crept through the darkness. If only she could make it to the stairs, she might be able to ascertain the identify of the mystery guest or guests.

Halfway down the hall, she faltered when a bright flash of lightning lit up the sky, almost in tandem with the loud clap of thunder that followed on its heels. Startled by nature's wrath, she lost her bearings and bumped a small table, sending a hurricane lamp crashing to the floor.

Immediately, the rush of heavy footsteps stomped across the front foyer, propelling someone with a very long stride up the wooden staircase. Seeing the wavering beam of a flashlight shine erratically through the banister railing, she flattened her body against the door of a bedroom.

A second too late to hide, Amanda found herself entrapped by the glare of the light that stopped her in her tracks. She froze in place, momentarily blinded by the illumination all around her. "Please, tell me who you are."

Instantly, the light moved toward the floor, and she heard a loud clunk as the offensive object dropped to the hardwood surface. Spinning crazily, it finally came to rest against the bathroom door, still casting its eerie rays along the hallway floorboards. Silence reigned as she heard someone advance a couple of steps toward her and then abruptly stop. "Oh, God! It's only me."

"Lee?" She was too surprised to move. For a long beat she stared at the shadowy mass, willing her husband to materialize out of the darkness. When no one ventured forth, she listened quietly for the next telltale sign - the soft melodic intake of breath that preceded the subdued exhale of his next word.

"Amanda."

Hearing the proof in her whispered name, she pushed herself from the wall and darted across the cold floor, flinging herself into his waiting arms.

"Amanda, Amanda." He murmured her name in awe and reverence while his body enfolded her into a protective embrace.

She desperately clung to him, acutely aware of his physical touch. She didn't know how or why he was back with her, but at the moment it didn't matter. Lee Stetson was standing here, shaking against the ferocity of her trembling frame. He was holding her so tightly that she felt her body gasp for air. "Oh, Lee, I can't believe it's you."

"I know, I know. I can't believe we're holding each other again." A strangled whimper escaped from deep within his chest, as his hands and mouth competed for places to stake their claim.

Overwhelmed by his return, Amanda labored to gain self-control. Resisting the caress of his lips on her neck, she reluctantly pushed her hands against his chest to gain his attention. "Lee, please, talk to me. Are you the Matthew Hamilton I spoke with last night?"

A harsh breath erupted from his mouth, and his voice broke with raw emotion. "Yes, Amanda, that's my legal name, now. I'm Matthew Lee Hamilton."

"Then, you've met our son?"

He smiled against her forehead. "You bet I have. He's a great kid."

For a breathless moment her thoughts gyrated with imagined, sweet pictures of father and son together at last. However, the urgent concern for her child's safety clouded the vision. Words, laced with fear, rushed from her raspy voice. "Lee, I can't find Billy or Maude."

"Amanda, they're fine. I moved them to a shelter, so they could ride out the storm." Hesitating, he pulled her closer. "Maude told me you might show up today, so I came back here to check. I couldn't believe it when I found you lying unconscious on the floor. Thank, God, you seem all right."

Breathing a deep sigh of gratitude, she smiled to herself at the long forgotten image of her knight in shining armor. Certainly tarnished by time and neglect, he was nonetheless present and accounted for in her moment of need. Smoothing her fingers over the damp fabric of his shirt, she touched her head lightly against his chest, relieved and perplexed at the same time. "But, Lee, I called beach security and was told Matthew Hamilton left the island."

"Yeah. That's correct, Amanda." His hands restlessly settled on the small of her back, tightening and relaxing in perpetual motion. Clearing his throat, he stumbled over his words. "Well, ah, when I realized the enormity of the storm, I changed my plans and returned to help Billy and Maude."

"Thank you," she whispered as her body sagged against his powerful frame. Feeling suspended in time, she relaxed into his strong arms, letting his rocking motion calm the emotional turmoil that threatened to unravel her fragile composure.

"It's okay, Amanda," he crooned. The gentle timbre of his voice soothed her soul like a soft lullaby. "Everything is going to be okay."

Comforted by his presence and assured about Billy, her mind raced with a jumble of obvious questions. "Lee, where have you been? Why are you working on the Outer Banks? How did you meet our son? When were you going to tell me you returned?" A barrage of uncertainties caused a wave of dizziness to sweep over her, and she felt herself growing limp in his arms.

"Whoa, Amanda. Are you all right?" Lee tightened his grip to support her.

"Just a little woozy, I guess." She drooped against him as the light-headedness sapped her strength.

"Let's get you back in bed."

Holding her securely, he leaned over to grab the flashlight and put it in her waiting hands. Then reaching for her legs, he swung her up into his arms and carefully carried her down the hall to the bedroom. Situating her under the covers, he pulled away. "Ah, I think you'd better get some rest. I'll be nearby if you need me. I know we have a lot to talk about, but it'll keep till morning."

Emptiness washed over her when their contact was broken. "Lee, please stay."

"I'm all wet, Amanda."

"Well, do whatever you need to do to be comfortable, but don't go."

"I'll sit with you for awhile." Pulling off his outer layer of clothing, he sat on the edge of the bed and eased his back against the headboard.

Despite her urgent desire to talk, she felt the tug of fatigue overpower her body. Reaching for his hand, she latched on, just as the clutches of sleep staked their claim.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued <strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

**Ocean Watch Retreat - September 25, 1991 - 6:30 a.m.**

The rising sun peeked through the ruffled curtains, casting a pinkish-orange glow on the sleeping couple. Outside the Ocean Watch Retreat, the fragmented storm rapidly made its way out to sea, leaving behind the promise of tranquility to usher in a new day.

Amanda awoke to the unimaginable joy of her husband by her side. At some point during the night, he'd slid under the covers. Now she lay snuggled against him, with his arm draped around her waist and their legs entwined. Celebrating the moment, she let the gift of their miraculous reunion take precedence over the questions that swirled in her mind.

Gradually Lee shook off the last grip of sleep and opened his eyes to his wife's silent gaze. He gave her a sheepish grin and carefully untangled their legs.

Determined to keep their physical desires in check, Amanda put some distance between them. While her heart rejoiced at their improbable reunion, her mind searched for a plausible explanation of his long absence. "Good morning," she finally whispered. Blushing, she tugged at the covers to pull them more securely around her exposed body.

"Mmmm," his gravely voice moaned in response. "Morning, Amanda. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." She watched her husband for a moment, carefully assessing his mood. "You, know, we have a lot to talk about." She bit her lip when a shadow of dread clouded his hazel eyes.

"Yeah, I guess we do, at that." His old ploy, the unreadable Stetson straight face, snapped securely into place, and his body tensed, obviously bracing for the coming confrontation.

Hoping to calm him, she slowly traced the outline of his face, letting her fingers linger over the dear familiar features. He was a little grayer around the temples and a little broader in the chest, but the same Stetson good looks were definitely still a crowd pleaser.

Gently caressing the stubble of his unshaven beard, she toyed with the roughness, trying to decide how to begin the difficult conversation. "Lee, I've inquired everywhere for word about you. Where, in heaven's name, have you been for four years?" An edge of anger surfaced in her words, until her voice quivered with accusation and disappointment.

Lee blew out a breath that chilled the air between them. "It's not an easy story to tell, Amanda."

"Oh Really?" Pushing her body into a sitting position, she modestly maneuvered her back against the headboard, pulling the quilt toward her neck. "It hasn't been easy for me either. I've had to live with countless terrifying scenarios of your fate."

"I know," he said, his eyes downcast. "I know."

"First, I was told you may have been killed in the trade. Then, just before I resigned from the Agency, Dr. Smyth floated the story that you not only handed yourself over to the Russians, but you traded your secrets to live in the lap of luxury in Moscow. Later stories spread through the intelligence community that the great Scarecrow died in a slave labor camp in Siberia."

The bed groaned as Lee moved to sit next to her, carefully keeping his distance when she inched away from him. "I never left the country, Amanda. I aborted the trade when the boys were safe."

"Oh?" She felt a wave of confusion convulse through her body. "You've let me imagine the vilest of circumstances for four years?"

"I thought it was better that way. If you believed I was dead or imprisoned by the KGB, you wouldn't have to spend your life looking for me. I wanted you to move on, Amanda."

"Move on?" Her words were laced with bitterness. "Lee, I never stopped mourning your disappearance from my life. Blind faith kept me on a relentless search for you, all the years of your absence. Even when Mr. Melrose said gunfire was heard on the Soviet side of the field, my hope kept me going. You mean to tell me, the Russians didn't shoot you?"

Lee diverted his eyes from his wife's penetrating stare. "No, they didn't. Francine and I faked my death with a bullet proof vest and some hidden packets of blood."

"Francine shot you? It was all a fake?" Amanda felt slapped by the explanation.

Obviously repentant, Lee had the grace to look ashamed. "Yes, Francine was hidden on a hillside, and she shot me off my horse. Her aim was perfect, so the vest protected me. Even so, the impact of the bullets or the fall from the horse knocked me out cold. The charade must have been convincing to the Soviets, because, when I regain consciousness, they were gone."

Amanda tugged at the loose thread in the wedding band pattern of the quilt, pulling it taunt until it unraveled in her hand. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't believe Francine never told me. She let me walk through the office like a zombie, grieving the loss of my husband. She never once offered a shred of hope you might be out there somewhere."

"Don't blame her, Amanda. She tried her best to talk me out of it. Hell, she was afraid I'd attempt the trade alone and then take a cyanide capsule just before handing myself over to the KGB." Combing both hands through his disheveled hair, he waited for her reaction.

Amanda stared at her husband in disbelief, while she willed her body to stop shaking. In a small hurt voice she challenged his reasoning. "Oh, no, Lee. She still should have told me. But, of course, she was really your friend and not mine."

"That's not true. She was worried sick about you, but I made her promise to keep the secret. Look, Francine and I went round and round about my plan . I made it clear to her that once she fired the shots, I was on my own. I wanted her to cover T.P. while he got the boys to safety and then get the hell out of there. Francine and T.P. saved me from having to commit treason, but I didn't want either of them to know what happened to me when I vanished from the intelligence community."

"So you simply walked away from me?" The sadness in her voice silenced them both for a moment.

Giving his wife a wounded look, he unloaded his rationale. "Walked away from you? Impossible! I fled like a bat out of hell. It was all I could do to restrain myself from showing up at your house. Never, never again was I going to lead one of my enemies to your doorstep."

"Oh, Lee. I know you didn't mean to . . . ."

Holding up his hands, he abruptly silenced her. "Just listen, okay. Before I set up the trade, I submitted my resignation. Regardless of the outcome, I was through with the Agency and through with trying to live a normal life. It was the only way I could free you and the boys from living in the shadow of my past. You knew, perfectly well, I meant what I said. Our life as a married couple was over, and I wasn't coming back. I hoped you'd just leave it alone."

"Leave it, alone?" Her tone was incredulous. "You know me better than that. You're my husband. Why on earth would I leave it alone? After I resigned from the Agency, I contacted and stayed in touch with the State Department, the CIA, the National Security Council, the Pentagon, and all my congressmen, not to mention the White House. When Eastern Europe opened up, I increased my efforts, hoping against hope that there would be word about you. Not once did anyone lead me to believe that you were alive and well, living in the United States and hiding from your wife."

"Oh, God," he choked. "You make it sound like I didn't want to be with you. There was never one minute of any day that I didn't ache to hold you in my arms." Tentatively, he reached for her hand.

Wiping at a tear, she entwined her fingers with his. "I want to believe you missed me, but the evidence has been sorely lacking."

"Amanda, I did what I thought I should do, out of love for you and the boys."

"And what exactly was that? Where did you go when you simply vanished from life?" Reclaiming her hand, she folded her arms tightly against her body, bracing for the truth that had eluded her for far too long.

"Exile, Amanda. I fled into exile." His hands were visibly shaking as he began to unveil the mystery of his life apart from his family. "My only mission was to permanently drop out of sight."

Amanda nodded, waiting with silent trepidation for his explanation to unfold.

A look of remorse clouded his eyes, and he swallowed hard before continuing. "The night I left has always been a complete blur. I was in so much physical and emotional pain, I must have been acting solely on impulse. Somehow, I managed to get myself to the Richmond airport and catch the redeye flight to Phoenix. The details are still sketchy, but I know I checked into a motel and simply slept for days."

Amanda closed her eyes at the vision of her husband's misery, but she remained quiet. Hearing Lee clear his throat, she steeled herself for what came next.

"When I felt strong enough, I started my job search. Certainly espionage was the farthest thing from my mind. My only criteria was to find something that would guarantee anonymity and leave me totally exhausted at the end of the day. I didn't want any free time to feel sorry for myself, you know?"

Not waiting for a response, he kept talking. "I found employment near Mesa, with an outfit that provided horseback explorations through the Superstition Mountains. Trust me, after a day in the saddle on those rugged, remote trails, I was too tired and sore to care if I lived or died."

Amanda felt the first twinges of empathy. "Lee, you didn't just leave. It sounds like you dropped out of life."

Catching her eye, he merely nodded. "When I wasn't working, I stayed at a broken down motel. It was tucked away from the main highways - sort of the place that time forgot. I steered clear of forming friendships, except for the Native Americans. They didn't ask me a lot of questions." Rubbing the stubble of his beard, he flashed a lopsided grin. "You probably wouldn't have recognized me. I let my hair grow long and grew a full beard. Since I kept to myself, the local people began to joke that I was some kind of reincarnation of The Lost Dutchman."

"The Lost Dutchman?"

"Yeah. He was an old miner who found gold in the Superstition Mountains and then died without ever revealing its location."

Amanda snorted at the image. "Then you didn't revert to your old life as a dashing, party-going, debonair kind of guy."

"Hardly," he said with a wry smile. "I was every bit the hermit people claimed. Kind of scary, I guess."

"And lonely, too, I bet." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

"You got that, right." An involuntary shudder shook his frame as he reached to clasp her hand. "I finally couldn't stand myself any longer, so when Spring rolled around, I cleaned myself up and headed north. Since I still had my piloting skills, I took a job providing helicopter tours in the Grand Canyon. When I felt that was too high profile to keep my cover, I left and moved down to Sedona, Arizona."

"Sedona?"

"Yeah, it's really beautiful, Amanda. I think you and the boys would love it."

"Oh?" Her eyes widened with curiosity.

"In Sedona, I hired on with a cowboy touring company. We gave the tourists wild, off-road jeep rides through the red rock, back country."

She couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure the boys would love that."

"Yeah, I think they would." His voice grew stronger with the old Stetson confidence. "Somehow, among the high buttes and peaks, I started to find some sense of peace about myself."

"You began to heal?" Hesitating, Amanda placed her hand on his brow and gently pushed back a strand of hair.

Closing his eyes, he relaxed under her touch. When she removed her fingers, he returned her gaze. "Despite having lost everyone and everything I ever cared about, I began to realize I wouldn't have wanted to live my life any differently."

"Certainly being an intelligence agent was in your blood."

"Yes, and you were still a living force in my life. My dreams began to overwhelm me. At times, I felt you were right by my side." He sighed wistfully, gracing her with a smile.

She nodded in understanding. "I experienced the connection, too, sweetheart. Maybe I couldn't hold you in my arms, but I could hold you in my heart."

His hand snaked around her waist, finding it's favorite resting place. "Somehow, I sensed our continuous bond, even though I'd closed off my emotions for a very long time. When I finally started to feel again, it nearly blew me away." He shrugged, looking for some kind of response.

"So, the old protective shield began to crack again."

"Yes, despite time and distance, I kept envisioning your smile, hearing your laughter, feeling your love. It all seemed to nudge me back east to be closer to you." His voice trailed off as he struggled for the words that wouldn't come.

"To be closer to your memories?"

"Yes - to you, to my roots, to who I really am."

"So, you came to the Outer Banks?"

"Well, at the time it seemed like my best option. Before I made the trade, I contacted the Agency founder. Harry V. Thornton had gotten wind of the boys' abduction and was ready and waiting to hear from me. Harry wanted to help in any way he could, so he made me a deal. He said, if I could avoid treason, he'd provide me with the credentials I needed for getting work. Harry also promised to respect my wishes and to stay out of my business. However, he said his friend on the Outer Banks could give me a low profile job with a beach security force, if I ever expressed the interest. The offer was still good when I contacted him two years later, so here I am."

Amanda felt her breath quicken. "Lee, when I left the Agency, Harry contacted me. He gave me Maude's name and encouraged me to vacation on the Outer Banks. It's almost like he hoped we'd reconnect."

"Son of a gun. No wonder he made quite a case for it." Lee rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "Humph, we've been crossing each other's path off and on for two summers and never knew it."

Amanda looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "Lee, it didn't have to all depend on Harry." Raw hurt crept back into her voice. "If you really wanted to find me, we could have been together long ago. After all, I've been going by my maiden name since I moved to North Carolina. If you felt ready to come back east, why didn't you attempt to track me down?"

"It was too soon, Amanda." He reached to touch her arm, but aborted the gesture when she pulled away. "I hoped when the boys were grown, it might be safer to try again - I mean, if you were still willing."

"You were planning to let six or eight or ten years go by and then waltz right back into my life?" Cocooning herself with the quilt she let her hurt lash back at him. "Did it ever occur to you that you might be too late?"

"Of course it occurred to me." The bulging vein in his neck took on a purplish hue as he struggled with his response. "I had no illusions, Amanda. It was a dream, not a plan. No matter how much I fantasized about a reunion, I knew it was only wishful thinking. Every morning I came to my senses and reminded myself why we were separated in the first place." He sighed and shook his head with regret. "And now, we may never be able to get back together."

Amanda's head jerked up with alarm. "What do you mean by never?"

"Just that - I can't put our three year old son at risk. Hell, Billy even looks like me. We could never pass him off as Joe's child or anyone else's, for that matter."

Amanda had to restrain herself from shoving him off the bed. "Stop it, right now, buster. This is not the conversation I want to have with you. Lee, you can't keep making excuses for choosing to live apart."

"Oh, yeah? Look who's talking." He shot her a blistering look. "Didn't you leave your older boys with Joe to keep them safe?"

Amanda recoiled at his indictment. "That was different."

"How was it different?" The bed jolted as the words exploded from his mouth.

Amanda looked at him through stormy eyes, before the words tumbled from her lips. "I gave them up because Joe forced my hand. He was convinced he could protect them better than their mother did, and he didn't want the Great Scarecrow's child putting his sons in jeopardy." Seething with anger, she wondered if she was madder at Lee or her ex-husband.

"Exactly," he growled. "I can understand perfectly how Joe felt." Lee's frustration propelled him off the bed, and he quickly stepped into a fitful pacing.

"No, you don't understand." She looked at him with righteous indignation. "You have no idea what it was like when my ex-husband threatened to return to Africa with our sons if I didn't leave town. Unlike you and Joe, I've always wanted my family to be together."

"You're such a cockeyed optimist," he shot back. "Things are never a problem, until, 'boom,' they blow up in your face."

"Well, at least I'm consistent," she challenged. "You, on the other hand, are a complete contradiction."

"And what's that suppose to mean?" He stopped long enough to glare at her, before picking up the rhythm of his pacing again.

"Just think about it, Lee. You always prided yourself on being an optimist when it came to intelligence operations." Pausing, she gestured with a wide sweep of her hand. "Oh, no, nothing was too dangerous for you to put your life on the line, with no concern for yourself. But when things got scary for the people you cared about, you turned into a complete pessimist. Then all you could do was imagine the worst case scenario."

Thumping his chest with his fist, he choked out his defense. "It wasn't my imagination. The boys were snatched on my watch."

"And you need to forgive yourself." Amanda's tone softened. "No one blames you, Lee. Certainly not me, or my mother, or the boys."

Lee paused at the window to watch the remnants of the storm blowing out to sea. "Amanda, don't you understand? If I'm back in the picture, the same thing could happen to Billy." Turning, he reiterated his concern. "It's just too damn dangerous."

Her husband's stubbornness was lost on Amanda. "Well, get over it, Lee. Billy's need for his daddy trumps your fears. Don't you want to be there for your son as he grows up? You, of all people, should realize how much a missing parent hurts a child."

A primal moan emanated from his throat, and he punched his fist into the wall. Shaking off the pain, he charged across the room. "Damn it, Amanda. That was a cheap shot."

"Then enlighten me, Lee." She glared at her husband without a glimmer of remorse.

Heated words rushed from his mouth. "Of course, I want to be there for Billy. He's very precious to me. We bonded from the 'get-go'. One day a cute kid walked up to me on the beach, and within hours he stole my heart."

"Oh, Lee . . . . How did you know?"

He shook his head in amazement. "It took me two days to figure out our connection, but once I saw him in his 'Lee Stetson' cowboy outfit with my old Tomestone fanner and Roy Rogers boots, I was very suspicious. Then when I questioned Maude about his mother and brothers, the rest was a slam dunk. Even Billy had it figured out when he looked at his family pictures."

Amanda smiled as her mind tried to capture the illusive image of a chance meeting between father and son. Wishing she could have witnessed the improbable moment, she whispered her plea. "Then don't walk away again, Lee. It will break Billy's heart. It will break mine, too."

Burned out by his rage, he bowed his head and studied something in the carpet that only he could see. "Amanda, there's nothing I want more than to help you raise our son, but not if it means bringing danger into his life. God, even if no one tries to harm him, you and I could become targets. We could be wiped out, and our boy would be left an orphan." His voice broke on the last word, making the pain of his childhood hover like a phantom between them.

She closed her eyes at the horror of his unfathomable loss. Nodding her head in silent understanding, she held out her hand to invite him to come closer. Instead he turned away.

"Amanda," he choked. "At least Billy has one parent he can count on. You've built a safe, anonymous environment for him." Lee's body slumped against the window frame, and, for a moment, he seemed lost in thought.

"Lee, both of us can protect him."

Cutting off her words, he continued speaking as if he hadn't heard her voice. "Sometimes I wonder if my parents ever considered creating a safe place for me. Despite their dangerous jobs, they chose to stay together, and we all lost. Maybe my father should have put my mother and me on a plane to England and then walked away for our sake."

Amanda sat dumbfounded, stunned by her husband's admission. He'd never hinted at such thoughts before today. No wonder he was terrified for his son. Overwhelmed by his pain, she walked over to him and put her arms around his rigid body. Holding him tightly, she tried to penetrate his wall of agony. "Lee, I'm sorry. I should have known why you feel so strongly about Billy's safety."

Unable to talk, he barely nodded his head.

The vision of Lee's lost childhood tore at her heart. Amanda wished she could project herself back in time and wrap her arms around the grieving five year old. She wanted to comfort the little boy who suddenly learned his parents were never coming home again. She wanted to tell him everything would be all right, even though he'd need to leave his home, his school, and his friends. She wanted to find someone to intercede on his behalf - someone who would step up to the plate and offer him a place in a caring family.

But there had been so one else. Only the clueless uncle, Colonel Robert Clayton, came forward to do his duty. She wanted to scream at the stern taskmaster to love and hold and nurture his nephew. She wanted to remind him that he wasn't the guardian of a new recruit - but a sensitive, heart-broken boy. And most of all she wanted to reach out to the abandoned child still living in the adult Lee Stetson. She wanted him to know that he didn't have to go through life afraid and alone.

Clearing his throat, Lee finally managed to return the embrace that his wife offered. "I'm sorry, Amanda," he said as he rocked her gently.

She leaned back in the cradle of his arms and watched the hurt play across his features. "Sweetheart, I'm not going to tell you that your feelings are wrong. Maybe your parents should have made different choices to protect you. However, I think your mother and father chose to stay together because they loved each other, and they dearly loved their son. For what little time they had, they were happy, and they made you happy. And I'm sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they molded you into the wonderful man you turned out to be." Catching his gaze, she smiled until his own somber face relaxed into a grin.

Shuffling his feet nervously, he offered the rest of his waning argument. "Amanda, I don't want history to repeat itself. You know, as well as I do, old enemies can plot revenge for years."

"Lee, there are no guarantees." She placed her hand against his cheek and waited to catch his gaze. "Sweetheart, life is fragile, even at its best. Wouldn't it be better if we faced it together, rather than trying to cope all alone? We can still take every precaution to protect our children."

Letting out a long sigh, he nodded tentatively. "You make it all sound so simple."

"And you make things harder than they have to be." Kissing him lightly on the lips, she made the overture for peace. "Sweetheart, you have to end the self-imposed exile. The decision about our lives doesn't need to rest solely on your shoulders."

Lee closed his eyes and nodded his head in agreement. "I know, I know, but it's such a huge risk. We certainly can't be Lee and Amanda Stetson, ex-spies."

"We have other options. I don't care if we have to open a 'Bait and Tackle' shop in Cheboygan, Michigan, or a "Mom and Pop" grocery store in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. One way or another, we're going to live together as a family. The issue is settled. Have you got that, Stetson?"

Raising his hands in surrender, he gratefully deferred to her wishes. "I guess it's your life, too."

"It's going to be a good life, Lee. You'll see. If you like, we can be Mr. And Mrs. Matthew Lee Hamilton-West, and we'll do whatever it takes to strengthen out marriage and family. We just need to work together as a team."

Lee laughed. "Well, unless you want to do beach patrol, I can't see us working as a team. I don't think Duke University has a place for me in the English department."

"You're too late for that." Amanda patted his chest. "I've already decided to resign. I promised the boys I'd move closer to them by Christmas. Maybe it's time to buy a place with all those horses you dreamed about. I bet we could make a go of it - maybe a place where children and youth with special problems can find a way to connect with animals."

His face brightened at the prospect. "Yeah, I think kids and horses are a natural." Lee rocked her back and forth in his familiar soothing motion. "However, did you forget that you're allergic to horses?"

It was Amanda's turn to laugh. "True, but I can teach, can't I? You and the boys can tend to the horses. We'll work on our teamwork when the family is sleeping."

"It sounds perfect to me," he whispered. Pulling her snuggly against his frame, he let his lips give their silent invitation, while his fingers grazed the soft skin of her shoulders. Sliding the straps of her lingerie down her arms, his hot breath caressed her ear. "Speaking of teamwork . . . ."

Amanda's head jerked up. "What was that?"

"What?" Lee's head snapped back like he'd been doused with a bucket of ice water.

"Listen. There it is again. Lee, I hear talking. People are downstairs."

The sound of footsteps floated into the room. "Mommy, Daddy." The excited voice of Billy grew louder as he headed up the stairs.

"God, he's seen our cars."

"Oh, my gosh. Quick, get dressed." Amanda began frantically pulling her skimpy clothing back together.

Grabbing his damp jeans from the floor, Lee tugged them up his legs and over his hips. Then zipping them up, he dashed to the doorway to intercept his son.

"Daddy," Billy squealed, erupting into giggles when his father scooped him up in his arms and twirled him around. The little boy's legs gripped the large frame and his hands tightened in a choke hold around the brawny neck. "I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you, too, son," Lee said as he kissed the velvet cheek.

"Where's Mommy? I want Mommy."

"I'm right here, sweetheart." Amanda smiled from the bed, now properly prepared to greet her child. The endearing sight of Lee and Billy together vanquished any lingering doubts she had about the impact of her husband's return. "You two are a perfect match."

"Mommy, I found Daddy. Can we keep him?" The little boy reached eagerly for his mother, while trying to hold onto his father, too.

Amanda laughed as Lee settled the earnest child in her arms. "He's definitely a keeper, Billy." Glancing from one jubilant face to the other, she felt her love for them overwhelm the moment. It was a miracle, born from great pain, that enabled her to have unwavering faith for the future of her family.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Conclusion and Tag**

**October 30, 1991 - Maryland**

The black Ford Explorer was more than a little over the posted speed limit as it weaved through the weekend traffic on interstate 270 in Maryland. A gentle cough from the passenger side caused the driver to tap the brake lightly and slow the vehicle just enough to keep pace with the rest of traffic.

Smiling at Amanda's gentle reminder, Lee glanced in the rear view mirror to note that Billy was still napping in his car seat. Even though he was anxious to reach their destination, he wanted to be careful with his precious cargo.

Feeling his wife's delicate hand on his shoulder, he leaned forward to let her massage the tension in his upper back muscles. With a grateful nod, he repositioned his body against the upholstery and let his thoughts review the past few weeks and their difficult re-entry into family life.

* * *

><p><strong>*****Flashback***** The days following Lee and Amanda's reunion<strong>

Coming off the exhilarating high of their reunion, reality hit them like an Canadian "Alberta Clipper" blizzard. An avalanche of issues barreled down on them, all demanding timely decisions. They hadn't even consummated their reunion before the first hurdle dampened their celebratory mood.

Amanda needed to return to her teaching position at Duke University, and Lee wasn't going with her. It was a huge let-down to say good-by in the beach parking lot, one day after they had found each other. Reluctantly, they made the decision that he would remain on the Outer Banks for the present time. He could still work for Beach Security and Maude could use his help with the storm clean-up. Truth be told, they were both sobered by the realization they needed a little space to absorb all that was happening.

Billy was inconsolable. Amanda literally had to pry his arms from his father's leg, promising him, in vain, that his daddy would drive up for a visit in a few days. Lee was traumatized by the scene. No amount of words or hugs could convince the little boy that his father would ever truly come home. Billy's anguished face and frantic cries haunted Lee in his dreams for many nights.

His first weekend visit to Durham wasn't much better. Lee felt like a distant relative stopping in for a rare appearance. He was awkward and ill-at-ease in the small townhouse that held little to remind him of the home they once shared. Even worse, Billy was wary of him, rebuffing his attempt at affection and choosing instead to cling to his mother. Lee could handle the boy's initial shyness, but he was concerned with the nervousness that radiated from Amanda. In his mind, she spent too much time fretting over dinner preparations and rambling non-stop about the weather, the university, and weekend community events.

The most disconcerting moment came when he brought his luggage in from the car. Setting the bags by the door, he was hit with a flood of memories of their early Agency partnership. Lee felt like they were on their faux honeymoon cruise to San Angelo, and he was bracing for Amanda's fuss over their accommodations. Almost six years and a marriage later, the old tension over appropriate sleeping arrangements threatened to be an issue, yet again. Standing in the entryway, he waited for Amanda's direction, but she merely pressed her lips in a tight smile and motioned for him to come back into the living room.

For hours, his luggage sat in the front hallway. They both pretended not to notice it, even though it sat like an elephant in the room - intimidating but unacknowledged. After receiving a quick tour of the house, Lee decided to take matters into his own hands. The solution was simple. He carried his bags upstairs and placed them in the guest bedroom. Their road back as a couple would have to start in neutral corners, and then they could let nature take it's course.

Their evening together didn't measure up to expectations, either. Billy constantly tested the limits by knocking over the goldfish bowl, letting the neighbor's dog in the house, and spilling chocolate milk on his father's beige jacket. By the time he threw a temper tantrum over a denied television show, he was treading on thin ice. Sent to the kitchen for a time out, he forfeited the rest of the evening when he scribbled on the freshly painted walls with magic marker.

Out of patience, his mother marched him off to bed, skipping his bath and reading him only one short bedtime story, while his father watched helplessly from the doorway. Tucked in with his "Blankie" and Eeyore, he was lovingly kissed goodnight and firmly told to go to sleep. His retreating parents hardly made it to the top step before he cut loose with a piercing wail that all but rattled the rafters.

The boy's howl of protest echoed through the house, unabated for fifteen minutes, while his weary parents steeled themselves to wait it out on the living room sofa. Ultimately, Billy won the battle when he appeared on the landing with a terrible case of hiccups and a copious nosebleed.

It didn't take a doctorate in child psychology to know the boy was acting out his fears for his family. The rest of the evening was consumed with reassuring Billy, amid parental declarations of guilt over upsetting their son's sense of security.

Even after Billy fell asleep on the sofa and was carried to bed in his father's arms, the moment never seemed appropriate to nurture their own needs as a couple. A clumsy chaste kiss capped off the disappointing day, and they retreated to their separate bedrooms.

Lee lay awake for hours, tossing and turning and worrying about their future. He was about ready to leave the bed and head downstairs, when he sensed someone standing in the doorway.

"Lee, are you asleep?" Amanda's disembodied voice floated to him in the darkness.

Lifting his head from the pillow, he paused to clear the roughness from his throat, "I'm awake. Come on in."

Like a willowy apparition, she moved toward him, her slippers scuffing across the plush carpet. "Would you like to talk?"

"Yeah, I would." Making room in the bed, he opened the covers. Wordlessly, she slid in beside him. Her silky nightgown felt cool to his warm skin, as the material grazed his bare chest and bunched around his thighs. He sucked in his breath at the contact. Clearly, her physical proximity challenged his self-control. Only his boxer shorts provided some measure of modesty.

Amanda cautiously inched away from his aroused body, and, for a long moment, she laid stiffly at his side. Only her ragged breathing penetrated the chasm between them. "I'm sorry about today," she finally said in a strangled whimper. "I'm acting like the nervous housewife who had to share overnight accommodations with the dashing spy."

"Hey, you're not in bed with the playboy, Scarecrow; it's me, your husband - the guy who has been faithful to you since our first real date. You must remember the meal without any 'shop talk'."

"Yes, I do - with steak, salad, and a bake potato on the side. Apparently you decided a casual dinner with me was a better option than dining at an embassy party with the lovely Leslie O'Conner."

"Absolutely, and after our simple evening together, I never considered going back to Leslie or my old lifestyle."

"I always liked that about you; when you committed yourself, you played for keeps." Amanda reached for his hand and entwined their fingers. "In all the years of your absence, I haven't so much as looked at another man. If I couldn't have you, I didn't want anybody."

"Loyal forever, huh?"

"For all the days of our lives."

"Come here," he said, opening his arms in invitation. "Let's bridge the gap between us." As she pillowed her head against his cheek, Lee felt the tears that streamed down her face. "Hey, we're going to be okay." Stroking her arm, he simply held her close, while she cried softly into the hollow of his neck.

"I'm sorry Lee," she said, her words interspersed with sniffles. "I seem to be on an emotional roller coaster. After the initial euphoria of our reunion, uncertainty has overshadowed my jubilation. In the past, we were on the same wave length and practically read each other's thoughts. Today we hesitated over every word, and gave each other a wide berth. I didn't have a clue how to get back to our natural, comfortable relationship."

"I know, I know." He blew out a nervous breath, struggling to reassure her, as well as himself. "At least we've started a heart to heart talk. It's a step in the right direction."

"Yes, it is, but surely you recognized we've both changed. The two of us lived apart longer than we lived together. Our marriage was seven months on and four years off. Lee and Amanda Stetson are practically strangers to each other, especially now that we have new identities."

"True, but it's not like Matthew Hamilton and Ann West are starting from scratch. The mutual attraction is still there."

"Yes, and we still have our abiding love intact, but we're out of sync." She raised herself on an elbow, tentatively tracing his brow with her fingers. "Would you consider going to counseling together?"

"Counseling?" he asked, not quite hiding his trepidation.

Amanda sighed softly and withdrew her hand from his face. "Yes, sweetheart, we have a lot of adjustments to make - getting reacquainted with each other, finding new jobs, making a secure home for Billy, bringing Phillip and Jamie back into the fold. It's a new beginning for our family."

"Yeah, I suppose it is."

She hesitated for a beat. "Lee, I don't think we should tell our teenagers that you've returned - not yet, anyway."

"God, why not?" he protested, clearly wounded by her words.

Rushing to reassure him, she ran her hand along his forearm in a calming gesture. "Please don't be hurt, but I think the two of us need to find our footing first. After all, the boys are still mourning their father's death. I don't want them to worry over whether or not their newly reunited parents can navigate the inevitable bumps in the road. I think counseling will help us deal with all aspects of our family life."

"I see what you mean." He paused to weigh her suggestion, as he recalled numerous annoying experiences with Agency "shrinks". Then sighing in resignation, he made his decision. "I'll do whatever it takes, Amanda. If you think talking to a counselor will put us on the right track, then count me in."

She heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you, sweetheart. Counseling may help us find our old rhythms again."

He pulled her tightly against his solid frame, his hands seeking purchase at the small of her back. "You know, I think old fashion intimacy may kick-start some of those old rhythms. It's practical, readily available, and never goes out of style." He leaned in closer, teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue.

She pulled back a little and smiled against his ear. "Well, I could definitely benefit from a refresher course."

"Let's see what I remember?" he said, as his mouth explored the sweetness of her pliant lips. Hungrily, he trailed kisses along her cheek and down her neck, while his hands studied the fine curves and softness of her body. It didn't take much of a review before the old passion ignited like a match to parched kindling.

Relaxing in his embrace, she pressed her hands against his chest, sliding them over his shoulders and into the thick hair at the back of his neck. "It still feels like you."

"And you still feel like my beautiful Amanda," he whispered in a voice husky with desire. His pulse raced and the blood surged through his veins, carrying vitality to every fiber of his being. He wanted her with a fierceness belied only by the tenderness of his touch.

Reverently, her fingers caressed the peaks, and valleys, and hollows of his body, leaving him trembling in their wake. Then entwining their legs together, she purred against his ear. "We still have the perfect fit."

"Made for each other," he whispered in words mingled with raw need and deep devotion.

Lost in the wonder of rediscovery, they were ready to pay homage to the longing that simmered on the back burner all day. Freeing themselves from all restraints, they felt the heat of their desire elevate to a rolling boil. With one fluid motion, they melted into ecstasy and let themselves be consumed by the flame of their love.

In the afterglow of their reunion, they savored the sense of peace and hope about their future. Settling into a loose embrace, they were finally ready to surrender to sleep.

Only minutes went by before, a distant cry called out to them from the darkness. "Mommy, Daddy, where are you?" The child's voice seemed to be coming from the master bedroom.

Amanda popped up immediately. "Daddy and I are in the guest bedroom," she called as she signaled her husband to get dressed.

"Not again," he groaned. Grumbling, he rummaged through the sheets for their bed clothes.

"Get used to it, pal. Our son is also known as the midnight rambler."

"We'll have to do something about that." Lee yanked on his shorts and handed his wife her nightgown. "I take it we had plenty of privacy to conceive the child. Incredibly, I never knew we were expecting."

"Oh, sweetheart, I never knew either, not until weeks after you left."

"Well, that's a relief. I'd hate to think you withheld vital information during our family crisis."

"No, Lee, I wouldn't keep something that important a secret. You definitely had a need to know."

He sighed. "I guess it was better that I didn't know. I wouldn't have wanted to agonize over saving the boys and leaving my unborn baby."

"What baby?" Billy asked from the doorway as he flipped on the overhead light. There the rascal stood, clad from neck to toe in blue fuzzy pajamas. Eeyore was clutched in his arm, and "Blankie" dragged behind him. "Why are you guys in here?"

"We thought it would be special," Amanda said with a smile. "Would you like to join us, just for tonight?"

Billy didn't need a second invitation. Tossing his friends on the bed, he climbed over the footboard, and wormed his way between his parents. Grinning up at them, he settled in with a kick in the side for his father and an elbow jab in the ribs for his mother. "This is fun."

"You bet." Lee said with a tinge of sarcasm. Shaking his head, he escaped momentarily to turn out the light. Returning to the bed, he kissed his son's forehead and then leaned over him to bestow a kiss on his wife. "Now I know why my mother hung jingle bells on the bedroom doors all year long."

Amanda laughed. "Obviously, it was a warning system to announce your presence in the middle of the night."

"I want jingle bells on my door," Billy said hopefully.

"What a wonderful idea, son." Lee nudged his wife.

"Yes," she agreed. "I'll hang them first thing in the morning."

*******End of Flashback*******

* * *

><p><strong>Tag<strong>

Pulling himself from his musings, Lee took the exit ramp and followed the narrow roads toward Western Maryland College, where Phillip's soccer team was competing in a tournament. Jamie was participating, too, as the assistant to the team trainer. Even Dotty and Curt were flying in for the event. This would be the first time the family was together since the horrendous day of the boys' abduction.

Lee gave himself a mental shake and reached for Amanda's hand. Feeling her gentle squeeze, he reminded himself to relax and go with the flow. Although, Phillip and Jamie hadn't been told about his return, Amanda had laid the ground work by suggesting hopeful news was starting to unfold about their stepfather. She also informed them she was coming to check out a country home, complete with horses, that was up for sale near Westminster, Maryland. If the boys really thought about it, they might put two and two together.

Thank God, he'd managed to clear his name with the Agency and been granted official retirement status. Now, he'd have some retirement funds to put toward the dream home and the horses they wanted.

His gravest concern had been getting the black mark removed from his record. However, when he and Amanda traveled back to Washington D.C. for his debriefing, everything fell into place. Harry, Billy and Francine all went to bat for him, and he sailed through the interrogation without any further consequences. Even Dr. Smyth begrudgingly accepted the sacrifice of the infamous agent and let Scarecrow's admirable record stand on its own merit. Lee walked away a free man, with his wife at his side and the blessings of his colleagues ringing in his ears. He shook his head at the memory

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Amanda asked as she studied the expression on his face. "You look so serious."

"Just thinking." He shrugged. "After I reunite with the boys, we will have covered all our bases, and we can put the whole protracted affair behind us. I hope they understand why I disappeared from their lives."

"Believe me, sweetheart, the boys will just be thrilled to have you back."

"I hope so." Stopping his vehicle in the grassy, overflow parking lot, Lee helped Amanda from the passenger side and reached into the back to remove the restraints from Billy's car seat. Lifting the sleepy child into his arms, he kissed his wife's cheek as they gazed at the breathtaking scenery of the Carroll County, college campus. The gentle rolling hills of the Maryland countryside were ablaze with the bright reds and yellows of the magnificent fall foliage. Relishing the moment of perfect peace, Lee held his family tighter and let out a sigh of contentment.

Suddenly from behind him, he heard a familiar voice. "Amanda, Lee, darlings." Turning around, he found himself engulfed by Dotty and Curt. Even though they'd recently been informed of his return and had talked together on the phone, nothing could prepare him for the actual reunion. Dotty wept tears of joy as she hugged him and declared her undying faith in his return. "Lee, darling. I never once lost hope. I knew you'd be back to make my daughter and grandsons happy."

Lee grinned, while he blinked back tears and gripped his mother-in-law tightly. "Thanks, Dotty. Thank you for your faith in me."

"Hey, I'm squashed," Billy protested loudly as he fought against the overindulgent hugs of his grandparents. "Grandma, did you know?" Billy said, pointing at his father. "He's my Daddy."

Amanda laughed, "Gee, Billy, didn't you tell Grandma on the phone about twenty times?"

"That's okay, sweetie. Grandma wants to hear you say it, over and over again."

Taking Billy's hands, Lee and Amanda followed Dotty and Curt toward the bleachers, hoping to claim some seats farther from the action. No one wanted the boys to spot their stepfather until after the game was over. The startling revelation needed to wait for a private family moment.

Stopping at the refreshment tent, Lee reached for his wallet to purchase coffee, hot chocolate and hotdogs for everybody. Holding out a bag of chips for his son, he felt an old panic suck the breath from his lungs. "Where's Billy? Did anyone see where he went?"

Amanda set her drink down on the counter and carefully looked in every direction. Acknowledging the fear in her husband's voice, she hastened to reassure him. "Now, don't worry, sweetheart. He couldn't have gone far."

A complete check of the area still didn't turn up Billy. Nervously raking his fingers through his hair, Lee felt suffocated by the endless scenarios that flashed through his mind. Despite Amanda's pleas to stay calm, he could see the concern etched on her face. He was ready to call in the cavalry.

Suddenly, loud shouts reverberated from the soccer field, and the crowd erupted into cheers and laughter. Turning toward the commotion, Lee and Amanda stood gaping at the ruckus playing out before them. The fast paced action of the first tournament game had quickly deteriorated into complete chaos. Without warning, a massive pile-up ensued at mid-field. The high school boys collided with each other, in a wild scramble to catch an interloper who ran interference on the play. The ball was rendered out of bounds when the tiny thief zig-zagged off the field in a brilliant evasive maneuver.

The teams' benches emptied as coaches and players jumped up to watch the elusive intruder. Confusion reigned until two teens emerged from the mayhem to nab the little boy fleeing with the soccer ball. Snatching up their squealing brother, they kicked the coveted ball toward the tangle of bodies and knelt to embrace the overwrought child.

Lee and Amanda managed to exchange relieved, but sheepish, grins at the antics of their offspring. Then they let out a gasp when they realized the truth had surfaced. Clearly, Billy was directing Phillip and Jamie toward his parents. Doing a double take, the two teens jumped to their feet and started running at breakneck speed, with their baby brother trailing behind them.

"Lee, Lee," they screamed in unison, their faces stunned by the little boy's revelation.

"Oh, my, God. Billy's told them." Bracing for the onslaught, Lee moved forward to receive his stepsons with open arms.

Practically bowling him over with an exuberant leap, the teens converged into their stepfather's powerful embrace. Linked inseparably, the threesome laughed and cried with relief and joy.

Soon the others joined the huddle, and Billy squeezed between his brothers' legs. Reaching down, Phillip claimed his youngest sibling and swung him up into his arms. "Way to go, cowboy. You managed to bring down both soccer teams."

"Hey, partner," his father intoned. "Don't you ever try a stunt like that again. You scared Mommy and Daddy." He glanced at his wife, who was murmuring by his side. "And who does your child take after?"

Pointing at Lee, Billy chirped into Phillip's ear. "See, I told you; that's my Daddy. I found him all by myself."

"Oh, you did, did you?" Phillip laughed at his boastful brother.

"He sure did. We wouldn't be together today, if he didn't befriend me on the beach. " Lee reached over to smooth the cowlick of his small son.

At Jamie's surprised look, his mother interceded. "Boys, it's a long story, one we will share with you tonight. Suffice it to say, our little guy is definitely the hero."

Grinning at Phillip, Jamie whispered back to Billy. "Thanks, squirt. Now, will you let him be our Dad too?"

As his small son nodded agreeably, Lee looked into the intense loving gazes of his stepsons, finding there the courage he needed to let go of the past. After four years of exile, he could finally be free from the terror that held him hostage.

This was his family, once scattered to the four winds, but now made whole. They were reunited by the unseen hand of divine providence, manifested through the innocent actions of a little child.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


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